Wednesday 11am. Cups of coffee - 1. Cups of tea - 2. Porridge for breakfast (spellcnut recipe - 50% oats, 25% milk, 25% water, teaspoon of splenda. 3 weight watchers points and very filling). Cadbury's chocolate eclair toffee's - 1. Short back 'n' sides in Islington on the way to work (Iranian barber who wants to nuke Israel - no tip for being hateful). LCD Soundsystem album plays since last night - 4 (it's really very good). Have you noticed how the Baxters soup cans now have 'Audrey Baxter' on the label instead of 'Ena Baxter'? Musta been a soupcoup.

3pm. Just laughed so much at this and a little bit of pee came out. Check out 'Elaine ripped me off'.

4pm. Disappointed with the lack of snow? Then this is for you. I stood next to Chris Martin at the urinal once. It was all yellow.