So, anyway, what difference does it make if Sheila takes a bow or not? None I say, because heaven knows I'm miserable now and thats all that counts. The boy with the thorn in his side only has to ask and I'll put my hand in glove and take his prick out. No need to panic. Uh-oh, big mouth strikes again (how was I to know his girlfriend was in a coma?). It's not like I started something I couldn't finish is it? He shouted "shirtlifters of the world unite" as he got the drinks in at the Shakespeares Sister. I told him to shut up. Told him that joke isn't funny anymore but he just went off on one about a light that never goes out on his landing at home. William, I said, it was really nothing. I can be so charming sometimes.

Off to Blackpool in the morning. I shall be having cocktails in the Spanish Galleon bar in the Winter Gardens from 6pm on Saturday. Feel free to join me.

*must remember Morrissey ticket must remember Morrissey ticket must remember Morrissey ticket must remember Morrissey ticket must remember Morrissey ticket*