Tuesday, July 27

I hope Elsie gets her flat. I hope August is warmer. I hope my Mum gets to go to Hong Kong before she dies. I hope it doesn’t rain on Saturday. I hope Darren is happy. I hope Edward is happy. I hope famines are eradicated. I hope Dubya starves to death. I hope my smile is white enough. I hope safari tourism to Africa is abolished. I hope I see Bjork before I die (and before she does). I hope Disney do a deal with B&M. I hope the future is like Futurama. I hope my balls hang lower as I get older. I hope Hollywood crumbles. I hope religion becomes transparent to all. I hope the Smiths never reform. I hope trains go direct to Blackpool next year. I hope the big disease with a little name is wiped out soon. I hope animals do laugh. I hope I never forget my Nana. I hope I’m not bored tomorrow. I hope I sleep 8 hours tonight. I hope Japan is banned from causing any more atrocities to whales and dolphins. I hope I come back as a dolphin. I hope Bubba Sparxxx poses for a nude centrefold. I hope everyone gets a roof of their own. I hope pop fights back. I hope.

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Mike has only been number 1 for 48 hours and already I’ve heard a ‘reply’ track from his ‘girlfriend’. Truly awful it is too. Kerching!

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