Thursday, July 29

Like Kelis said...

“tricked me once but I won’t let you trick me twice”

...but they did. A hornet managed to get inside my lid this morning. I was forced to pull over beside Argos and yank my helmet off (stop right there with your mucky thoughts). Then ten minutes later another fukka got in! This one fell to the ground and then I stamped on it. Then I felt bad. But not as bad as I would have felt if I’d been stung in the eye. Which is what happened to me during a picnic up a mountain in Uzbekistan a few years ago. Christ that hurt. When this fierce Central Asian wasp injured me I demanded that someone pee on me immediately but was quickly told that this is actually the remedy for jellyfish stings (cue sounds of zips closing and fists slamming into palms).

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