I was walking down Victoria Street yesterday lunchtime when I came across a commotion outside a mobile phone shop. After shouting “move along, move along, there’s nothing to see here” I managed to squeeze my way to the front of the crowd and saw that Derek the GBTFH (gay black tory fox hunter) from Big Brother 6 was sitting on a stool in the window inviting gawpers to take his picture with their mobile phones. Two weeks after leaving the show and he’s a glorified shop window dummy. Still, I bet he’s getting paid more than me so who’s the bigger knobber, me or him? Don’t answer that.

My parents are at our house in Blackpool where my Dad is recovering from pleurisy. I don’t see them too often so have decided to scoot up there tonight and surprise them. I hope I don’t open the door at 10pm tonight and find them ‘entertaining’ the silver-haired swingers of central Blackpool (of which there are plenty I bet). Back on Sunday.