Cracking weekend. Got drunk on Friday night with some fellow degenerates. Cleavage, new teeth, tardy timekeeper, my future wife, straight totty, neighbours, new boy, boss man and someone not so invisible now. Twas lovely to spill beer on you all.

Saturday was hangover day. We went to the supermarket for bread and milk and came out with a heaped trolley and a bill for £150. That’s a lot of bread and milk (good job I was fully stocked up on yummy hunny eh!). Went for a curry with Darren and Tom on Saturday night. Curry house was heavin’ and very noisy. The table next to us was occupied by a bunch of straight porn actors who had been making a ‘movie’ across the road in Raquels Health Club. They all shook the waiters hand when they left.

Sunday was quiet. I hoovered, wrapped some presents (I’m annoyingly organised), walked the dog, ordered pizza (free next time as it was late), had a bath, made popcorn, watched Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (very poor) and The Cooler (marvellous) then went to bed. Darren has a cold. I’ll send him your best.