By the way, I can't give up any of those things on the list below. Because I don't do any of them.
Oh alright then, but just that one, maybe I do buy too much sour cream.
Thursday, March 6
Day 4
Doughnuts for breakfast, took our hire car (neglected for the past two days) for a drive down the strip, Sahara was old skool, Golden Nugget was even older, downtown Vegas is nothing like it's uptown sister, downtown is bit more 'real', if the new glitzy part of the strip is Beyonce then downtown is Lil' Kim, terrified ourselves on the Big Shot ride on top of the Stratosphere Tower Hotel (me: "I can't look down, I can't look down"), best dinner of my life (honest) at Bellagio (chicken wellington, seven-spices lamb, sirloin, garlic asparagus, creme brulee AND chocolate cheescake; "paging Mr Creosote"), waddled round Aladdins back passage before bed.
Doughnuts for breakfast, took our hire car (neglected for the past two days) for a drive down the strip, Sahara was old skool, Golden Nugget was even older, downtown Vegas is nothing like it's uptown sister, downtown is bit more 'real', if the new glitzy part of the strip is Beyonce then downtown is Lil' Kim, terrified ourselves on the Big Shot ride on top of the Stratosphere Tower Hotel (me: "I can't look down, I can't look down"), best dinner of my life (honest) at Bellagio (chicken wellington, seven-spices lamb, sirloin, garlic asparagus, creme brulee AND chocolate cheescake; "paging Mr Creosote"), waddled round Aladdins back passage before bed.
Wednesday, March 5
What shall I give up for lent?
* pissing sitting down?
* beetroot blinis?
* smoking in bed?
* nipping farts?
* letting the dog lick my sour cream dipped cock?
* worrying the samaritans?
* home enemas?
* cheap whisky with cheap cola?
* stroking my barbers balls with my elbow?
* John Foxx -vs- Midge Ure debates?
* kicking down garden walls in Buckhurst Hill?
* changing the bed sheets twice a year?
* secretly wishing I was Deirdre Barlow slash Rachid?
* all of the above?
* pissing sitting down?
* beetroot blinis?
* smoking in bed?
* nipping farts?
* letting the dog lick my sour cream dipped cock?
* worrying the samaritans?
* home enemas?
* cheap whisky with cheap cola?
* stroking my barbers balls with my elbow?
* John Foxx -vs- Midge Ure debates?
* kicking down garden walls in Buckhurst Hill?
* changing the bed sheets twice a year?
* secretly wishing I was Deirdre Barlow slash Rachid?
* all of the above?
Day 3
Breakfast - and so it came to pass that we discovered the power of the Krispy Kreme doughnut factory in the Village Food Court here, coffee and doughnuts is a real fat bastards breakfast, more hotel exploring, New York New York (Darren put $10 into a slot machine, the jackpot on that mutha was $2m, he didn't win), Monte Carlo, Bellagio (this place takes the biscuit for utter American luxury in an imagined Italian way) and Caesars Palace, all mind bogglingly perfect and plastic and luxurious and trashy, lunch at a fantastic NYC deli in Caesars called Stage Deli (those huge cinematic sandwiches with meat falling outa them), back to the hotel, watched Jackass The Movie in our room (lots of man-flesh on show, which was nice), went next door to Luxor to see a movie about the Grand Canyon on the Imax screen (too scabby to fork out for a helicopter excursion to the real thing), ate egyptian pizza, walked back to Olde England and collapsed exhausted with cheese in my hair.
Breakfast - and so it came to pass that we discovered the power of the Krispy Kreme doughnut factory in the Village Food Court here, coffee and doughnuts is a real fat bastards breakfast, more hotel exploring, New York New York (Darren put $10 into a slot machine, the jackpot on that mutha was $2m, he didn't win), Monte Carlo, Bellagio (this place takes the biscuit for utter American luxury in an imagined Italian way) and Caesars Palace, all mind bogglingly perfect and plastic and luxurious and trashy, lunch at a fantastic NYC deli in Caesars called Stage Deli (those huge cinematic sandwiches with meat falling outa them), back to the hotel, watched Jackass The Movie in our room (lots of man-flesh on show, which was nice), went next door to Luxor to see a movie about the Grand Canyon on the Imax screen (too scabby to fork out for a helicopter excursion to the real thing), ate egyptian pizza, walked back to Olde England and collapsed exhausted with cheese in my hair.
Tuesday, March 4
Day 2
Woke up here again, eggs, pancakes, french toast and coffee, head to Vegas, lunch in Barstow (which is the home of the U.S. Army National Training Center, Marine Corps Logistics Base and NASA's Goldstone Deep Space Network), lack of Dairy Queens forced us to eat here, two fun hours in Calico Ghost Town, the Sheriff was a blond stud in too-tight jeans and leather chaps, I tried not to stare but couldn't help myself (I jaywalked across deserted streets, I stole expensive soaps from the gift shop, I stood up on the miniature train ride while it was moving but he just wouldn't arrest me), drove into Nevada and made a pit-stop at Buffalo Bills in Primm to do this (big, tall, fast and fun), an hour later we were in Las Vegas and checking into our hotel and this was the view from our bedroom window ($10 extra per night to get a view of the roller coaster at New York New York Hotel opposite, worth every cent), explored Luxor and MGM hotels exhaustively and in awe, Darren bought us tickets to the Blue Man Group show for later in the week (ta chuck, twas brill), ate till we bust a gut at ye olde worlde rountable buffet at Excalibur and fell asleep watching the Manhattan Express do it's stuff.
Woke up here again, eggs, pancakes, french toast and coffee, head to Vegas, lunch in Barstow (which is the home of the U.S. Army National Training Center, Marine Corps Logistics Base and NASA's Goldstone Deep Space Network), lack of Dairy Queens forced us to eat here, two fun hours in Calico Ghost Town, the Sheriff was a blond stud in too-tight jeans and leather chaps, I tried not to stare but couldn't help myself (I jaywalked across deserted streets, I stole expensive soaps from the gift shop, I stood up on the miniature train ride while it was moving but he just wouldn't arrest me), drove into Nevada and made a pit-stop at Buffalo Bills in Primm to do this (big, tall, fast and fun), an hour later we were in Las Vegas and checking into our hotel and this was the view from our bedroom window ($10 extra per night to get a view of the roller coaster at New York New York Hotel opposite, worth every cent), explored Luxor and MGM hotels exhaustively and in awe, Darren bought us tickets to the Blue Man Group show for later in the week (ta chuck, twas brill), ate till we bust a gut at ye olde worlde rountable buffet at Excalibur and fell asleep watching the Manhattan Express do it's stuff.
Day 1
Woke up here, eggs over easy, bacon, pancakes, coffee, short drive to San Fernando Valley, Magic Mountain, park was quiet, Colossus was down, but all the others were running liked raped apes, Goliath was best, nice black-out helix at the end, X was worth the 2 hour wait but scared the pants off me, takes a lot to unsettle me but I was a wreck after riding it, $12 souvenir photo of my husband and I here, dinner in Culver City at Dinah's (50's diner as featured in The Big Lebowski), knackered and in bed at 9pm watching the Grammy's, The Clash/Strummer tribute was a nice surprise, ace day.
Woke up here, eggs over easy, bacon, pancakes, coffee, short drive to San Fernando Valley, Magic Mountain, park was quiet, Colossus was down, but all the others were running liked raped apes, Goliath was best, nice black-out helix at the end, X was worth the 2 hour wait but scared the pants off me, takes a lot to unsettle me but I was a wreck after riding it, $12 souvenir photo of my husband and I here, dinner in Culver City at Dinah's (50's diner as featured in The Big Lebowski), knackered and in bed at 9pm watching the Grammy's, The Clash/Strummer tribute was a nice surprise, ace day.
Friday, February 21
*Don't start the war without me*
I'm currently packing the Vuitton trunk for our trip to LA and Vegas tomorrow (actually, it's a Tesco carrier bag but I'm a homo with aspirations). Neil is going on and on and on about positive role models and I'm onto the 4th level of The Getaway. I gotta murder a bunch of art terrorists in the Serpentine Gallery. Pie and chips repeating on me. 3 Nytol before the flight should see me dozing over the pole and into LAX. El Segundo on Saturday night. Let's hope we don't leave our wallets. Back in 7 days.
I'm currently packing the Vuitton trunk for our trip to LA and Vegas tomorrow (actually, it's a Tesco carrier bag but I'm a homo with aspirations). Neil is going on and on and on about positive role models and I'm onto the 4th level of The Getaway. I gotta murder a bunch of art terrorists in the Serpentine Gallery. Pie and chips repeating on me. 3 Nytol before the flight should see me dozing over the pole and into LAX. El Segundo on Saturday night. Let's hope we don't leave our wallets. Back in 7 days.
Thursday, February 20
Barry loved a trip to the lake in Olive.
This is a lovely heartwarming site.
"Nowhere else on the web will you find such dedication to these poor, confused animals. Where are they being taken? Will they be coming back? What happens if they need to go to the toilet?"
Click on gallery 34 and reach for the kleenex.
This is a lovely heartwarming site.
"Nowhere else on the web will you find such dedication to these poor, confused animals. Where are they being taken? Will they be coming back? What happens if they need to go to the toilet?"
Click on gallery 34 and reach for the kleenex.
Tuesday, February 18
Monday, February 17
Sunday, February 16
Went to see The Hours this afternoon. Very good. Not an upbeat movie with a happy ending (just how we like 'em). It’s an introspective, sad and depressing look at three women’s lives linked in a profound way by a novel, Mrs. Dalloway.
How many women are unhappy with who they are and with the lives they are living? Millions. How many women secretly feel they are bad mothers, wives or friends, and hate passionately the role or path they’ve chosen or have been given in life? Millions. How many women don’t get help when they feel ashamed of their problems and give up on living as a result of their feelings or thoughts? Millions. Nowhere in this story is there a positive, helpful, or hopeful solution to the dilemmas these characters face. Just an introspective look at three women who needed answers and tragically, didn’t get them.
I kept staring at Kidmans nose every time she was on screen and I was overly intrigued and aware of the special make-up they used to make it look Woolf-esque. She delivers an incredible performance of a woman deeply disturbed and tormented by her own demons and depression (made worse apparently by living in Richmond, South-West London, hahahahaha!) and unable to cope with her life. In fact, there wasn't a stinky piece of acting in the whole film.
It's a beautifully filmed movie with an emotionally disturbing story, an incredible cast, a great musical score, and Oscars written all over it.
---------------------------------------------------
I'd totally forgotten just how good Killing Joke by Killing Joke was. Playing it now. Wow.
How many women are unhappy with who they are and with the lives they are living? Millions. How many women secretly feel they are bad mothers, wives or friends, and hate passionately the role or path they’ve chosen or have been given in life? Millions. How many women don’t get help when they feel ashamed of their problems and give up on living as a result of their feelings or thoughts? Millions. Nowhere in this story is there a positive, helpful, or hopeful solution to the dilemmas these characters face. Just an introspective look at three women who needed answers and tragically, didn’t get them.
I kept staring at Kidmans nose every time she was on screen and I was overly intrigued and aware of the special make-up they used to make it look Woolf-esque. She delivers an incredible performance of a woman deeply disturbed and tormented by her own demons and depression (made worse apparently by living in Richmond, South-West London, hahahahaha!) and unable to cope with her life. In fact, there wasn't a stinky piece of acting in the whole film.
It's a beautifully filmed movie with an emotionally disturbing story, an incredible cast, a great musical score, and Oscars written all over it.
---------------------------------------------------
I'd totally forgotten just how good Killing Joke by Killing Joke was. Playing it now. Wow.
This time next week we will be at Magic Mountain in LA hurtling towards the ground from untold heights on one of these. Hurrah! Then we're gonna play the slots for five days here while dressed as Arthur and Guinevere.
Tacky? Moi? You bet!
Tacky? Moi? You bet!
Readers Wifes (the pop group) played at Duckie last night. Place was packed with new faces and a lot of them didn't bat for our team if you know what I mean. Still, we don't want to turn our glamorous nightlife into a ghetto (there's quite enough of that over the river in SOHO, or SOSHIT as we call it round here). Apart from 'Bitch at the Brits' I hadn't heard any of their material. Nice punchy electro sound with funny lyrics about boys, smoking, the Old Kent Road and other shitty aspects of a homo's London life. The band looked great in white t-shirts and pin stripe suits, very Oxfam-formal. They went down a storm and the single is out tomorrow (apparently it's number 1 on the Amazon pre-order chart). I found this review for the song on the Boomkat website this morning:
Erm, a strange one, this is one of those releases that reinforces our opinion that a certain aspect of 80’s pop culture should remain 6 feet under and rotting, please buy this release and burn it while chanting voodoo charms on the sad mullet wearing freaks that perpetuate this soulless excuse for music/fashion. Destroy at your leisure. Rank.
The kind of review that the Readers Wifes will cut-out, frame and cherish. Bless 'em.
Erm, a strange one, this is one of those releases that reinforces our opinion that a certain aspect of 80’s pop culture should remain 6 feet under and rotting, please buy this release and burn it while chanting voodoo charms on the sad mullet wearing freaks that perpetuate this soulless excuse for music/fashion. Destroy at your leisure. Rank.
The kind of review that the Readers Wifes will cut-out, frame and cherish. Bless 'em.
Saturday, February 15
I watched 'A Ma Soeur' this afternoon. God, it's good. I remember all the fuss at the time of it's release but had forgotten about it. Then he walked onto the screen with a hard-on. A real hard-on! In a 'proper' film. Nearly dropped me plate of beans on toast. Anyway, that shock was nothing compared to the last five minutes of the film. Stunning. The two kids who played the sisters were incredible and I guess that there are few Hollywood child actors (not to mention adult ones too) who could pull off anything close to what those two did. This should be on the syllabus in every school.
Friday, February 14
I love it when I come across a new blog and the writing is great and the design is cool and efficient. I like to read through some archives, take a peek at the comments from other readers and generally worm my way into the life of the person. Then I get excited when I see that in their sidebar is a link called 'gallery'. Woo hoo! pics! Then I look at 'em. Pebbles, rock pools, friends dogs, deserted beaches, trains, sunsets and feet! Where are the images of the writer? His friends? The folk he's having a pop at? The parties he's been to? His home? Surely when you start a blog and promote it you have some sort of longing to share your life with strangers? Those pebbles and sunsets tell me nothing about you other than your ability to point a camera at something you thought was pwitty. I think the 'gallery' should reveal more about the writer rather than his boring, artistic longings.
Sorry, I'll get me coat.
Sorry, I'll get me coat.
Thursday, February 13
* How to be a small town slut.
* What's a queef?
* “Does my bum look big in these?” No bigger than it looked before you put them on you grossly overweight cunt.
* Man done ya wrong? Add his name to this. Frickin' hilarious.
* I've been there (but I didn't come up with anything this witty at the time).
* Please vote for Naked Blog here.
* What's a queef?
* “Does my bum look big in these?” No bigger than it looked before you put them on you grossly overweight cunt.
* Man done ya wrong? Add his name to this. Frickin' hilarious.
* I've been there (but I didn't come up with anything this witty at the time).
* Please vote for Naked Blog here.
Tuesday, February 11
Don't tell your man what he don't do right
nor tell him all the things that make you cry.
But check yourself for your own shit
and don't be making out that it's all his.
Take a look around the world
you see such mad things happening.
There are a few good men
ask yourself if he is one of them.
Special Cases by Massive Attack from 100th Window
nor tell him all the things that make you cry.
But check yourself for your own shit
and don't be making out that it's all his.
Take a look around the world
you see such mad things happening.
There are a few good men
ask yourself if he is one of them.
Special Cases by Massive Attack from 100th Window
Monday, February 10
My weak end
My PC crashed and burned on Saturday night. Internal power supply problems. Won't get fixed till mid-week. What a pisser. Shocking how much I rely on it for home entertainment. Rob popped round for coffee and a spot of crochet on Saturday afternoon. We're making a 'quilt for peace'.
'Catch Me If You Can' yesterday. Liked it. Quite a misogynist movie. The women in the film are rotten:
* Leonardo's French mum is a coniving cow who left France not for Christopher Walken (the dad) but for an American life.
* a girl he meets in a hotel and wants to fuck turns out to be a high class hooker (this is ok though as she gets ripped off by him in turn)
* his girlfriend rats him out to the cops
* Tom Hanks ex-wife is never seen but portrayed as an evil bitch who makes him spend Christmas alone and restricts access to his daughter.
See? just plain evil.
One of Tom Hanks' deputies was a horny stunna called Frank John Hughes. Jet black hair, black single breasted 3 button skinny leg suit and specs. Woof woof! Here's a pic of him (from Band of Brothers, which I didn't watch).
Happy birtday to you!
My PC crashed and burned on Saturday night. Internal power supply problems. Won't get fixed till mid-week. What a pisser. Shocking how much I rely on it for home entertainment. Rob popped round for coffee and a spot of crochet on Saturday afternoon. We're making a 'quilt for peace'.
'Catch Me If You Can' yesterday. Liked it. Quite a misogynist movie. The women in the film are rotten:
* Leonardo's French mum is a coniving cow who left France not for Christopher Walken (the dad) but for an American life.
* a girl he meets in a hotel and wants to fuck turns out to be a high class hooker (this is ok though as she gets ripped off by him in turn)
* his girlfriend rats him out to the cops
* Tom Hanks ex-wife is never seen but portrayed as an evil bitch who makes him spend Christmas alone and restricts access to his daughter.
See? just plain evil.
One of Tom Hanks' deputies was a horny stunna called Frank John Hughes. Jet black hair, black single breasted 3 button skinny leg suit and specs. Woof woof! Here's a pic of him (from Band of Brothers, which I didn't watch).
Happy birtday to you!
Friday, February 7
The answer to the music question below is this:
Some big 70's flares and a shirt by Brutus would be good too. Oh, and a wrap of whizz for those all-nighters at Wigan Casino or the Mecca in Blackpool.
Confused? Read more here.
Some big 70's flares and a shirt by Brutus would be good too. Oh, and a wrap of whizz for those all-nighters at Wigan Casino or the Mecca in Blackpool.
Confused? Read more here.
Anyone remember the bike theft public information film? Lots of clips of people reporting stolen bikes at a police station.
boy 1: - It's red with white handlebars...
boy 2 :- No it's white with red handlebars...
man in a suit: - What do you mean? a bike's a bike..How do you describe a bike ?
man with camp voice:- I'd rather not say what's in the saddlebag... it's personal....!
Then the punchline - peeved looking PC says:-
You won't believe this Sarge - someone's just nicked me bike!
I used to go to the local YMCA when I was a toddler (is it any wonder I grew up like this). I was in the Tufty Club and our local chapter was held there. Tufty was a squirrel who taught small children to cross roads safely. We had a big paper zebra crossing (actually a roll of wallpaper painted black and white) and pedal cars to use as traffic. We took turns crossing the road and driving the cars (you have no idea how many 4 year olds had bruised shins from collisions with pedal cars). I obviously paid no attention as I was knocked down by a car when I was 5, an accident which broke my ribs and punctured my lungs. Stupid Tufty.
Click here to play a game based on the original 60's game by Spears and The Royal Society For The Prevention Of Accidents (Tuftys shadowy organisation devoted to squirrel world domination). Click on Tufty's head to hear him talk! Scary.
Did you know that Kenny Everett voiced Charley in those famously bad public info films?
Joe and Petunia
boy 1: - It's red with white handlebars...
boy 2 :- No it's white with red handlebars...
man in a suit: - What do you mean? a bike's a bike..How do you describe a bike ?
man with camp voice:- I'd rather not say what's in the saddlebag... it's personal....!
Then the punchline - peeved looking PC says:-
You won't believe this Sarge - someone's just nicked me bike!
I used to go to the local YMCA when I was a toddler (is it any wonder I grew up like this). I was in the Tufty Club and our local chapter was held there. Tufty was a squirrel who taught small children to cross roads safely. We had a big paper zebra crossing (actually a roll of wallpaper painted black and white) and pedal cars to use as traffic. We took turns crossing the road and driving the cars (you have no idea how many 4 year olds had bruised shins from collisions with pedal cars). I obviously paid no attention as I was knocked down by a car when I was 5, an accident which broke my ribs and punctured my lungs. Stupid Tufty.
Click here to play a game based on the original 60's game by Spears and The Royal Society For The Prevention Of Accidents (Tuftys shadowy organisation devoted to squirrel world domination). Click on Tufty's head to hear him talk! Scary.
Did you know that Kenny Everett voiced Charley in those famously bad public info films?
Joe and Petunia
Thursday, February 6
Popbitch had a link to the Readers Wifes video for their single 'Bitch at the Brits' but have now taken it down as it was too popular. Drat! I was gonna have a shufty tonight. Bitch at the Brits will be the first release on Popbitch records. I love the Readers Wifes. So does Jonathan Ross (apparently).
Which bathroom product do I need to fully enjoy songs by Patrice Holloway, Jerry Williams, Bobby Paris, JD Martin, The Fuzz, Dean Parrish, Doris Troy, Bobby Bland, Kim Weston, Wendy Rene, Nella Dodds, The Ideals, Cody Black, Jackie Beavers, Sam Ward, Rosco Robinson, The Invitations, Maxine Brown, Eddie Holman, Betty Everett and The Devonnes?
You will know the answer to this so give someone else a chance you swot!
Which bathroom product do I need to fully enjoy songs by Patrice Holloway, Jerry Williams, Bobby Paris, JD Martin, The Fuzz, Dean Parrish, Doris Troy, Bobby Bland, Kim Weston, Wendy Rene, Nella Dodds, The Ideals, Cody Black, Jackie Beavers, Sam Ward, Rosco Robinson, The Invitations, Maxine Brown, Eddie Holman, Betty Everett and The Devonnes?
You will know the answer to this so give someone else a chance you swot!
Wednesday, February 5
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Stunning news to report! The worlds tallest rollercoaster will open later this year. At over 400ft (43 storeys high), Top Thrill Dragster will hit a top speed of 120mph and feature a 90 degree, 400ft drop. This is the view from atop the tallest point (look if you dare!). That's our summer holiday worked out this year.
We have a Technics multi cd player thingy which holds 110 discs. Last year before Christmas we emptied the machine and put all the old cd's back into their boxes. It's only the beginning of February and the darn thing is nearly half full again with Christmas presents and sale bargains.
The best thing about the machine is that when it is activated in random mode it selects a cd and then a track at random and plays it. It's just like having your own private radio station without the annoying banter in between the songs (I'm perfectly capable of producing my own annoying banter). Here's the current playlist on Spellcnut FM:
1. DIRTY VEGAS
2. UNDERWORLD-HUNDRED DAYS OFF
3. BJORK-GREATEST HITS
4. VARIOUS-IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS RHYTHM
5. CLASH-DISC 1
6. CLASH-DISC 2
7. CLASH-DISC 3
8. SUEDE-A NEW MORNING
9. THE JAM-SNAP
10. LEMON JELLY-LOST HORIZONS
11. SOFT CELL-CRUELTY WITHOUT BEAUTY
12. MISSY ELLIOTT-UNDER CONSTRUCTION
13. McALMONT AND BUTLER-BRING IT BACK
14. ROYKSOPP-MELODY AM
15. MOBY-18
16. MANIC STREET PREACHERS-FOREVER DELAYED
17. CBGB'S BIRTH OF PUNK
18. ORANGE JUICE-BEST OF
19. PENETRATION - DON'T DICTATE
20. LADYTRON - LIGHT AND MAGIC
21. JOSEF K - YOUNG AND STUPID
22. RAMONES - DISC 1
23. RAMONES - DISC 2
24. DEXYS MIDNIGHT RUNNERS - 1ST AND 3RD ALBUMS
25. PEACHES - THE TEACHES OF PEACHES
26. CHI LITES - BEST OF
27. KING TUBBY - 1973-1976 DISC ONE
28. KING TUBBY - 1973-1976 DISC TWO
29. PINK - MISSUNDAZTOOD
30. ELVIS COSTELLO - BEST OF DISC ONE
31. ELVIS COSTELLO - BEST OF DISC TWO
32. ESG BJORK GIRLS ON TOP 12"
33. LIZZY MERCIER DESCLOUX - PRESS COLOR. GRACE JONES
- NIGHTCLUBBING
34. FEEDER - COMFORT IN SOUND
35. FOO FIGHTERS - ONE BY ONE
36. THE MUSIC - THE MUSIC
37. ELTON JOHN - BEST OF... DISC 1
38. ELTON JOHN - BEST OF... DISC 2
39. DAVID BOWIE - BEST OF... DISC 1
40. DAVID BOWIE - BEST OF... DISC 2
41. NEW ORDER - RETRO - POP
42. NEW ORDER - RETRO - FAN
43. NEW ORDER - RETRO - CLUB
44. NEW ORDER - RETRO - LIVE
45. FLEETWOOD MAC - VERY BEST OF - DISC 1
46. FLEETWOOD MAC - VERY BEST OF - DISC 2
The best thing about the machine is that when it is activated in random mode it selects a cd and then a track at random and plays it. It's just like having your own private radio station without the annoying banter in between the songs (I'm perfectly capable of producing my own annoying banter). Here's the current playlist on Spellcnut FM:
1. DIRTY VEGAS
2. UNDERWORLD-HUNDRED DAYS OFF
3. BJORK-GREATEST HITS
4. VARIOUS-IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS RHYTHM
5. CLASH-DISC 1
6. CLASH-DISC 2
7. CLASH-DISC 3
8. SUEDE-A NEW MORNING
9. THE JAM-SNAP
10. LEMON JELLY-LOST HORIZONS
11. SOFT CELL-CRUELTY WITHOUT BEAUTY
12. MISSY ELLIOTT-UNDER CONSTRUCTION
13. McALMONT AND BUTLER-BRING IT BACK
14. ROYKSOPP-MELODY AM
15. MOBY-18
16. MANIC STREET PREACHERS-FOREVER DELAYED
17. CBGB'S BIRTH OF PUNK
18. ORANGE JUICE-BEST OF
19. PENETRATION - DON'T DICTATE
20. LADYTRON - LIGHT AND MAGIC
21. JOSEF K - YOUNG AND STUPID
22. RAMONES - DISC 1
23. RAMONES - DISC 2
24. DEXYS MIDNIGHT RUNNERS - 1ST AND 3RD ALBUMS
25. PEACHES - THE TEACHES OF PEACHES
26. CHI LITES - BEST OF
27. KING TUBBY - 1973-1976 DISC ONE
28. KING TUBBY - 1973-1976 DISC TWO
29. PINK - MISSUNDAZTOOD
30. ELVIS COSTELLO - BEST OF DISC ONE
31. ELVIS COSTELLO - BEST OF DISC TWO
32. ESG BJORK GIRLS ON TOP 12"
33. LIZZY MERCIER DESCLOUX - PRESS COLOR. GRACE JONES
- NIGHTCLUBBING
34. FEEDER - COMFORT IN SOUND
35. FOO FIGHTERS - ONE BY ONE
36. THE MUSIC - THE MUSIC
37. ELTON JOHN - BEST OF... DISC 1
38. ELTON JOHN - BEST OF... DISC 2
39. DAVID BOWIE - BEST OF... DISC 1
40. DAVID BOWIE - BEST OF... DISC 2
41. NEW ORDER - RETRO - POP
42. NEW ORDER - RETRO - FAN
43. NEW ORDER - RETRO - CLUB
44. NEW ORDER - RETRO - LIVE
45. FLEETWOOD MAC - VERY BEST OF - DISC 1
46. FLEETWOOD MAC - VERY BEST OF - DISC 2
Tuesday, February 4
Back from the frozen North. Showed Darren the sights of Ashington. That took ten minutes. Brilliant picnic in sub-zero conditions near Haltwhistle, overlooking the Pennines. Stunning sight-seeing-scenery-stuff as we cut through the Lake District and down into Lancashire. Mams and Dads were very hospitable (though both sets of parents thought it 'best' if we slept in single beds!). Had fun and didn't expect to. Which is nice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Was anyone else scared shitless by
Raggety when they were a kid?
Or even now?
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Was anyone else scared shitless by
Raggety when they were a kid?
Or even now?
Thursday, January 30
The doors on our car were frozen shut tonight. Luckily, we weren't in the car at the time. Good job too or I'd have been forced to wear that spare pair of tights I carry round with me everywhere (I'm keeping them for when I go to my ice-dance class).
Tomorrow after work we drive up to Newcastle to spend 2 days with my Mum and Dad. Should be, errr, fun. Then from Newcastle to Skelmersdale to see Darrens parents. In the loft at my parents house are hundreds of NME's from the late 70's and 80's, Blue Peter annuals, Rupert The Bear annuals and vinyl. I'm gonna auction my youth on e-bay.
Tomorrow after work we drive up to Newcastle to spend 2 days with my Mum and Dad. Should be, errr, fun. Then from Newcastle to Skelmersdale to see Darrens parents. In the loft at my parents house are hundreds of NME's from the late 70's and 80's, Blue Peter annuals, Rupert The Bear annuals and vinyl. I'm gonna auction my youth on e-bay.
Wednesday, January 29
Jack was great. About Schmidt was brilliant. Just gorgeous writing. Not a word wasted. Alexander Payne could be the nearest thing the USA has to Mike Leigh (forget the fact that Alex had a writing credit on Jurassic Park 3).
The Bowie quiz at the Retro Bar was fun. Him, him and me got 16 and a half out of 20. We didn't win though. Some swots had 18!
Got drunk, said hello to him (quizmaster general and player of the vinyl), ate pie and chips then went to bed.
Here's a dogs arse to cheer you up:
The Bowie quiz at the Retro Bar was fun. Him, him and me got 16 and a half out of 20. We didn't win though. Some swots had 18!
Got drunk, said hello to him (quizmaster general and player of the vinyl), ate pie and chips then went to bed.
Here's a dogs arse to cheer you up:
Tuesday, January 28
Monday, January 27
Inflamed foodpipe = pain. Stupid intestines.
Saw Gangs of New York. Mostly impressed.
Watched Y Tu Mama Tambien. Nice scenery.
Watched Training Day. Macy Gray looked great in those long, pink, cock-sucking finger nails.
He fed us coconut creams and lemon puffs on Saturday afternoon. The lemon puffs seemed to calm my agitated foodpipe.
Saw Gangs of New York. Mostly impressed.
Watched Y Tu Mama Tambien. Nice scenery.
Watched Training Day. Macy Gray looked great in those long, pink, cock-sucking finger nails.
He fed us coconut creams and lemon puffs on Saturday afternoon. The lemon puffs seemed to calm my agitated foodpipe.
Friday, January 24
'It's not the numbers of people you've loved, had sex with, kissed, or given broken hearts that matters. The test is the person in front of you, naked or clothed, in the moonlight, under a blanket, on the bus, passing in the mall, or holding your hand. If you've fucked a thousand is no concern, as long as you love one.'
Another boy who writes like an angel.
Another boy who writes like an angel.
'8 Mile - a hip-hop version of The Karate Kid. Just not as enjoyable.'
Hahahahahahaha, you crack me up.
Hahahahahahaha, you crack me up.
The dogs bollocks.
It's a rant par excellence. Awesome and spot on. Puts this bloggies business to bed hopefully (don't forget to check out the comments). Jhames, you are the wind beneath my wings.
It's a rant par excellence. Awesome and spot on. Puts this bloggies business to bed hopefully (don't forget to check out the comments). Jhames, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Thursday, January 23
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I sold my plastic car last year. I called her Olive cos she had the hue of one. 800cc of pure plastic power. I could drive this beautiful 3 wheeler on my motorcycle licence and I did for 3 years. Friends refused to ride in it and even my dog Barry would lie as flat as he could on the back seat hiding. Then I passed my driving test last year and Olive was a goner. I miss her. But now I get to drive Darrens car which is a Mazda with 4 wheels. And let me tell you, it's virtually impossible to tip the Mazda over while doing 30mph round a roundabout.
Robbie Williams has just bought a gold limited edition Robin Reliant 3 wheeler. Apparently theres a waiting list these days of 6 months for a new one. Who'da thunk eh!
Wednesday, January 22
I love New Order. I would see them play whenever they toured. They weren't that good live but that was part of their charm. Ramshackle performances and a crowd obsessed by their heroes always made for a good night out. Bass player Peter Hook had fabulous hair in the 80's. Then in the mid 90's he grew it long with a ponytail. Drat!
Here's his hair at it's sexiest.
Here's his hair at it's sexiest.
Tuesday, January 21
At last! A new sound for 92!
In 1992 I made a record. It was called Fuzz Bass and I went under the name of 'Broadmind' (as I have one). I used a nasty old 4 track recorder, a very cheap casio sampler and an old bass guitar with one string. Vinyl used in the making of this modern masterpiece included some Sly Stone, Donald Banks and Four Tops.
I sent my cassette to a factory and two weeks later they sent me 1000 7" flexi-discs. I gave the discs away at various London clubs and sent it to most of the music publications of the time. Response was good and Jay Strongman in Sky magazine had this to say (very kind) and id magazine did a piece on the DIY disco boom in which I was featured (a copy of which I don't have, so if any fashion queens out there have any old id's from 1992 I would love a scan of that article).
I found some old copies of the flexi-disc last weekend and set about tidying it up a bit through cool edit pro. I mp3'd it and put it here (it's called Fuzz Bass in case you'd forgotten). Go listen.
In 1992 I made a record. It was called Fuzz Bass and I went under the name of 'Broadmind' (as I have one). I used a nasty old 4 track recorder, a very cheap casio sampler and an old bass guitar with one string. Vinyl used in the making of this modern masterpiece included some Sly Stone, Donald Banks and Four Tops.
I sent my cassette to a factory and two weeks later they sent me 1000 7" flexi-discs. I gave the discs away at various London clubs and sent it to most of the music publications of the time. Response was good and Jay Strongman in Sky magazine had this to say (very kind) and id magazine did a piece on the DIY disco boom in which I was featured (a copy of which I don't have, so if any fashion queens out there have any old id's from 1992 I would love a scan of that article).
I found some old copies of the flexi-disc last weekend and set about tidying it up a bit through cool edit pro. I mp3'd it and put it here (it's called Fuzz Bass in case you'd forgotten). Go listen.
Monday, January 20
A major publisher (Macmillan) has taken the potentially controversial step of releasing a childrens book about a same-sex relationship. 'Hello Sailor' is about Matt, a lighthouse keeper, who constantly watches the sea waiting for his 'friend' Sailor to return. Sailor does return and the pair spend the night together in the lighthouse before setting off together to sail around the world.
"You've come back!" he couldn't believe his eyes. "Hello, Sailor!"
"Did you think I'd forgotten you? I thought we were going to sail around the world together."
They turned round in a circle, to get a better look at one another. It was almost as if they were dancing. Sailor was back!
This is what Amazon say about the book: 'A moving story of hope and friendship. Matt lives in a lighthouse. He watches the sea every day... for ships and for his friend, Sailor. Matt is so forlorn that Sailor has gone away that he almost forgets his own birthday. His friends say Sailor will never come back, but Matt doesn't give up hope. And, after his birthday party is over, his patience is rewarded, when Sailor finally returns.'
Macmillan hope that, to many young readers, it will simply be a book about the power of friendship. A spokesman said "one of the things children must get used to is the intense nature of friendship".
I see Matt and Ben in the big screen version.
"You've come back!" he couldn't believe his eyes. "Hello, Sailor!"
"Did you think I'd forgotten you? I thought we were going to sail around the world together."
They turned round in a circle, to get a better look at one another. It was almost as if they were dancing. Sailor was back!
This is what Amazon say about the book: 'A moving story of hope and friendship. Matt lives in a lighthouse. He watches the sea every day... for ships and for his friend, Sailor. Matt is so forlorn that Sailor has gone away that he almost forgets his own birthday. His friends say Sailor will never come back, but Matt doesn't give up hope. And, after his birthday party is over, his patience is rewarded, when Sailor finally returns.'
Macmillan hope that, to many young readers, it will simply be a book about the power of friendship. A spokesman said "one of the things children must get used to is the intense nature of friendship".
I see Matt and Ben in the big screen version.
Saturday night at Duckie. A queue when we got there! What's that all about? Ah! So that's why. A Smiths night. On stage at midnight, for one night only, 'The Smiths, The Musical'. Oh how we laughed at the puppet 'Morrissey' as he climbed the baked-bean stalk to meet 'Mrs Spatcher' and oh how we cheered when he clambered back down the stalk, chopped it down with an axe and caused Mrs Spatcher to fall to her death. All set to Smiths songs played on a little Casio keyboard. Marvellous. Give this man his own West End show. Other top tunes of the evening? Peaches 'Set It Off' and N.E.R.D.'s 'Almost Over Now'. I danced.
Sunday, January 19
Tuesday, January 14
Monday, January 13
I went to the Batcave a couple of times in 1982. I was working down a coal mine (I loved the Lee Dorsey song so much I used it as a career pointer) in Northumberland so could easily afford the train fare to London a couple of times every month. I liked the Batcave. It had a reputation as a goth hangout but really wasn't. Lot's of moody looking lads in tartan shirts and flat top's would bounce round the dancefloor to Bauhaus, Southern Death Cult and T Rex. The club was a refreshing reaction to the 'funk' that was swallowing up London nightlife at that time courtesy of the Wag and Blue Rondo A La Turk. I remember a US army jeep parked beside the bar, I remember Nick Cave getting his hair caught in the low hanging netting that passed as 'decor', I remember the house band 'Specimen' being really atrocious and I remember the singer from 'Alien Sex Fiend' scaring the shit out of me. Would you know what I meant if I said it was very gay in a straight sorta way? Thought not.
It was at a Batcave night at the Scala Cinema in Kings Cross in 1984 that I first let a fella suck my cock while watching Warhols 'Trash'. Things were never the same again.
It was at a Batcave night at the Scala Cinema in Kings Cross in 1984 that I first let a fella suck my cock while watching Warhols 'Trash'. Things were never the same again.
OOOOOOOO! I zink I'm getting a tumour.....
'Gangs' was sold out so we stayed in. Not sulking but dancing. Lizzy Mercier Descloux, black vinyl, ZE Records, outa NYC, 1981. Now on cd via cool edit pro. I left the crackles in there though. Sounds better with them. More 'historical'. Makes me smile when she sings Peggy Lee's 'Fever' but instead of using the word 'fever' she sings 'tumour'.
'Gangs' was sold out so we stayed in. Not sulking but dancing. Lizzy Mercier Descloux, black vinyl, ZE Records, outa NYC, 1981. Now on cd via cool edit pro. I left the crackles in there though. Sounds better with them. More 'historical'. Makes me smile when she sings Peggy Lee's 'Fever' but instead of using the word 'fever' she sings 'tumour'.
Friday, January 10
Thursday, January 9
I've been pimping my 'babies' to Bentkid for his radio project. All seventeen of 'em. I tinker with various pieces of music making software but mainly use e-jay (cos it's idiot proof) and Cool Edit Pro (which is far from idiot proof). Bass-lines and a driving rhythm are important to me because of my ongoing obsession with 1970's Jamaican dub. Not that any of my stuff is that good or that laid back (I need to take a shit load more drugs to create anything as funky as King Tubby). Most of the tracks are trippy electronica speeded up to make your feet tap. I like to play the piano, glockenspiel and sometimes the harpsichord and find that these acoustic 'hands on' instruments sound real nice when slithered into an electronic soundscape.
I used my Rolf Harris Stylophone on track 1 and it sounds quite spooky (in a Scooby Doo sorta way).
Track 2 is a guaranteed floor filler round our gaff.
Track 3 has some magnificent piano work (though I do say so myself) and will probably get nominated for a Grammy next year.
Track 4 has very intricate glockenspiel and xylophone melodies and a Dr Dre bass line.
Track 5 has bagpipes and a Moroder-esque beat.
Track 6 will play over the opening credits to a porno movie one day.
Track 7 is just beautiful and was written to be played in the waiting rooms of psychiatric hospitals.
Track 8 has an uber-deep bass line and was much fun to channel through an echo chamber. Gorra gorgeous melody too.
Track 9 is to be featured in the next series of Twin Peaks (I shall probably be asked to do a cameo in the diner).
Track 10 features the sound of my Mum knitting. She's a big fan of melodic drum 'n' bass so this one's for her.
Track 11 was a collaboration with DJ Shadow (yeah right). Nice harpsichord on it (which was a nightmare to sync up with the piano).
Track 12 sees me fondling something Spanish. Silly you! it's a guitar.
Track 13 is very crispy and has a nice Northern Soul rhythm and some lovely Hammond organs.
Track 14 is sooooo upbeat yet melancholy at the same time. Boy, can I tickle those ivories!
Track 15 is the soundtrack to that post-coital cigarette. I got that bass-line last time I was in the ghetto.
If Sly Stone were alive today and was invited to join Pearl Jam then they might sound like tracks 16 and 17. Also a bit like members of Parliament or Funkadelic joining Korn.
Listen or download them here. Remember kids, Electroclash is for 3 months not for life.
I used my Rolf Harris Stylophone on track 1 and it sounds quite spooky (in a Scooby Doo sorta way).
Track 2 is a guaranteed floor filler round our gaff.
Track 3 has some magnificent piano work (though I do say so myself) and will probably get nominated for a Grammy next year.
Track 4 has very intricate glockenspiel and xylophone melodies and a Dr Dre bass line.
Track 5 has bagpipes and a Moroder-esque beat.
Track 6 will play over the opening credits to a porno movie one day.
Track 7 is just beautiful and was written to be played in the waiting rooms of psychiatric hospitals.
Track 8 has an uber-deep bass line and was much fun to channel through an echo chamber. Gorra gorgeous melody too.
Track 9 is to be featured in the next series of Twin Peaks (I shall probably be asked to do a cameo in the diner).
Track 10 features the sound of my Mum knitting. She's a big fan of melodic drum 'n' bass so this one's for her.
Track 11 was a collaboration with DJ Shadow (yeah right). Nice harpsichord on it (which was a nightmare to sync up with the piano).
Track 12 sees me fondling something Spanish. Silly you! it's a guitar.
Track 13 is very crispy and has a nice Northern Soul rhythm and some lovely Hammond organs.
Track 14 is sooooo upbeat yet melancholy at the same time. Boy, can I tickle those ivories!
Track 15 is the soundtrack to that post-coital cigarette. I got that bass-line last time I was in the ghetto.
If Sly Stone were alive today and was invited to join Pearl Jam then they might sound like tracks 16 and 17. Also a bit like members of Parliament or Funkadelic joining Korn.
Listen or download them here. Remember kids, Electroclash is for 3 months not for life.
A question: Why can't there be a movie that tells a strong story, is full of humor and pathos, is packed with powerful performances, and features a lot of explicit sex — hard-ons, cum and all? Sex is a conversation. Why can't a scene with two people having real sex be as dramatically interesting as a scene with them talking in a restaurant? Why can't there be a film that makes you say, "I laughed, I cried, I came!"
The genius behind Hedwig is preparing his next project. Bravo.
Thankyou Jonno for the news.
The genius behind Hedwig is preparing his next project. Bravo.
Thankyou Jonno for the news.
Wednesday, January 8
It wasn't snowing when I left home on my motorbike. Ten minutes later and, approaching Islington, the clouds burst and the blizzard began. My journey proceeded at five miles an hour because using any brakes in this weather is lethal. An hour and twenty minutes after setting off for a forty minute drive I arrived. The sloped ramp into the underground garage at work was like a ski-jump, I (s)kid you not!
Tuesday, January 7
One of the funniest comments I heard last year....
"I can't believe Gary Glitter has been deported to Bangkok from Cambodia for kiddie fiddling. That's like sending Elton to Interflora."
Remember when Mrs Merton asked Noddy Holder from Slade if he was Jealous because Gary Glitter has a nightclub named after him? Apparently she was walking past her sons bedroom when she heard one of his friends say "I'm gonna take you up the Gary Glitter later".
Non UK readers please note, 'Gary Glitter' is rhyming slang for the anus. Gary Glitter = shitter.
"I can't believe Gary Glitter has been deported to Bangkok from Cambodia for kiddie fiddling. That's like sending Elton to Interflora."
Remember when Mrs Merton asked Noddy Holder from Slade if he was Jealous because Gary Glitter has a nightclub named after him? Apparently she was walking past her sons bedroom when she heard one of his friends say "I'm gonna take you up the Gary Glitter later".
Non UK readers please note, 'Gary Glitter' is rhyming slang for the anus. Gary Glitter = shitter.
Sunday, January 5
* Saw 'The Two Towers' on Friday night. Classy.
* Had dinner here beforehand. Also classy.
* Went to Duckie on Saturday night. Watched a beautiful lady pull offal from her vagina. Classy yet still punk rock.
* Watched 'Human Traffic' on Sunday morning. Why are films about drugs really boring? Non-class-A.
* Had dinner here beforehand. Also classy.
* Went to Duckie on Saturday night. Watched a beautiful lady pull offal from her vagina. Classy yet still punk rock.
* Watched 'Human Traffic' on Sunday morning. Why are films about drugs really boring? Non-class-A.
Saturday, January 4
You can stick your new years resolutions up your arse, these are different.
Things I want to do this year that I didn't do last year:
* try crack
* sleep more
* grow my hair
* lose a stone
* stop watching telly
* carry a camera everywhere
* see my mum and dad more
* wear dirty jeans and old t-shirts more often
* sell my 'stuff'
Shouldn't be too hard. The smoking thing isn't in there, nor is the one about the gym. Fuck excercise.
Things I want to do this year that I didn't do last year:
* try crack
* sleep more
* grow my hair
* lose a stone
* stop watching telly
* carry a camera everywhere
* see my mum and dad more
* wear dirty jeans and old t-shirts more often
* sell my 'stuff'
Shouldn't be too hard. The smoking thing isn't in there, nor is the one about the gym. Fuck excercise.
Wednesday, January 1
Me and 'him indoors' first had sex two years ago today. Nothings been the same since. If I believed in God I would thank him for making me go to that dump of a local gay bar on new years eve 2000. Love you.
Demanding to be read daily.
This site is a presentation of the diaries of Samuel Pepys, the renowned 17th century diarist who lived in London, England. A new entry written by Pepys will be published each day, with the first appearing on 1st January 2003.
A stunning concept and a fascinating read.
Demanding to be read daily.
This site is a presentation of the diaries of Samuel Pepys, the renowned 17th century diarist who lived in London, England. A new entry written by Pepys will be published each day, with the first appearing on 1st January 2003.
A stunning concept and a fascinating read.
Tuesday, December 31
A happy McDonalds new year to you all.
The opponents of McDonalds (who were out in force and cheering earlier this year after the 'evil giant' made horrendous losses) are much more dangerous than their enemy. McDonalds sell burgers, fries and milkshakes. What do these opponents sell?
To start with they sell the idea that we are all witless victims. If you eat too many meals at McDonalds you become fat. In fact, if you eat too many meals, you become fat. McDonalds is now being dragged through the courts by some obese children whose lawyers claim it is responsible for their condition. As if McDonalds force feed people burgers. They complain that the meals are fattening! Er, yes. Since the failure of the McBroccoli happy meal, you shouldn't consume McDonalds at every meal if you want a fully balanced diet. We, the consumers, are in charge.
McDonalds have no power over us. If it doesn't please us, they will go.
McDonalds opponents sell a pernicious form of anti-Americanism. But McDonalds didn't drive out ye olde British food. They simply challenged horrible second rate restaurants and dirty caffs which were closed half the time. If McDonalds were British everyone would love them.
Indeed, if they originated almost anywhere else they would be lauded. I don't spot these people racing around the UK in balaclava hats chanting "down with Swedish welfare state imperialism" and smashing the windows of Ikea with a brown corduroy armchair.
They hate McDonalds because it is American. I, on the other hand, think this is the reason why so many like it, along with American people, their fantastic contribution to pop culture and the fact that they spent their money and sent their children to die to prevent this country being ruled by foreign dictators.
Of course McDonalds could improve it's environmental and animal welfare record. But who couldn't? Do you know how many homes would be without televisions, telephones, computers etc if we cared enough about China's environmental and human rights violations? Tens of millions.
The worst thing is though is how these opponents have sold the idea that a banal act such as eating a burger is political. They talk of consumerism, but there is no such thing. There is just consumption. I am not eating my burger for anybody, or against anybody or at anybody. Most of the time I don't even eat it with anybody. I just eat it, thats all. It's not a symbol of anything.
Daniel Finkelstein (the Tory who said he would kick seven colours of shit out of Jeffrey Archer if he ever saw him again). Lets hope they meet soon.
The opponents of McDonalds (who were out in force and cheering earlier this year after the 'evil giant' made horrendous losses) are much more dangerous than their enemy. McDonalds sell burgers, fries and milkshakes. What do these opponents sell?
To start with they sell the idea that we are all witless victims. If you eat too many meals at McDonalds you become fat. In fact, if you eat too many meals, you become fat. McDonalds is now being dragged through the courts by some obese children whose lawyers claim it is responsible for their condition. As if McDonalds force feed people burgers. They complain that the meals are fattening! Er, yes. Since the failure of the McBroccoli happy meal, you shouldn't consume McDonalds at every meal if you want a fully balanced diet. We, the consumers, are in charge.
McDonalds have no power over us. If it doesn't please us, they will go.
McDonalds opponents sell a pernicious form of anti-Americanism. But McDonalds didn't drive out ye olde British food. They simply challenged horrible second rate restaurants and dirty caffs which were closed half the time. If McDonalds were British everyone would love them.
Indeed, if they originated almost anywhere else they would be lauded. I don't spot these people racing around the UK in balaclava hats chanting "down with Swedish welfare state imperialism" and smashing the windows of Ikea with a brown corduroy armchair.
They hate McDonalds because it is American. I, on the other hand, think this is the reason why so many like it, along with American people, their fantastic contribution to pop culture and the fact that they spent their money and sent their children to die to prevent this country being ruled by foreign dictators.
Of course McDonalds could improve it's environmental and animal welfare record. But who couldn't? Do you know how many homes would be without televisions, telephones, computers etc if we cared enough about China's environmental and human rights violations? Tens of millions.
The worst thing is though is how these opponents have sold the idea that a banal act such as eating a burger is political. They talk of consumerism, but there is no such thing. There is just consumption. I am not eating my burger for anybody, or against anybody or at anybody. Most of the time I don't even eat it with anybody. I just eat it, thats all. It's not a symbol of anything.
Daniel Finkelstein (the Tory who said he would kick seven colours of shit out of Jeffrey Archer if he ever saw him again). Lets hope they meet soon.
Monday, December 30
Brilliant site featuring crazy and disturbing album covers. Hilarious.
And, in the spirit of new years resolutions, look at these.....
And, in the spirit of new years resolutions, look at these.....
Sunday, December 29
Carry On Camping is on TV in five minutes. I might wet myself laughing. Tom went to NYC with the son of Bernard Bresslaw to see Mike Tyson fight. Fact.
Saturday, December 28
Where....
is everyone? Cruising round blogland tonight and all I found was tumbleweed. Hello? Anyone there? Is everyone pretending to have a life? Pretending to be somewhere else doing something interesting? I know you don't have lives so you can stop this charade. I mean, why have a blog if you have a life? Duh!
I'll be glad when everyone gets back to work so they can start writing again on the companies time. Not that I'm lonely or anything.
*Dave turns to his teddy and feeds him a spoonful of breakfast cereal while balancing the telephone between shoulder and ear and listening to the speaking clock*
is everyone? Cruising round blogland tonight and all I found was tumbleweed. Hello? Anyone there? Is everyone pretending to have a life? Pretending to be somewhere else doing something interesting? I know you don't have lives so you can stop this charade. I mean, why have a blog if you have a life? Duh!
I'll be glad when everyone gets back to work so they can start writing again on the companies time. Not that I'm lonely or anything.
*Dave turns to his teddy and feeds him a spoonful of breakfast cereal while balancing the telephone between shoulder and ear and listening to the speaking clock*
Friday, December 27
Bjork. Family Tree cd.
Penetration. Don't Dictate cd.
Josef K. Young and Stupid cd.
Ramones. Anthology cd.
Ladytron. Light and Magic.
DVD movies for winter nights: Rushmore, A Ma Soeur, Time Out, Harold and Maude.
Books about these.
Zoo Tycoon with expansion packs.
Good friends, good food and bad television at his house.
He couldn't make it as he had a hot date skiing in St Moritz on Christmas day. We did have a cable-car conversation though.
Monday, December 23
"The face of Strummer has fell from the wall and nothing is left where it hung". Aztec Camera, 1981.
Give Barry a scratch behind the ears from me Joe.
Like thousands of teenagers growing up in the 70s, punk and The Clash changed my life in a fundamental way. Their mixture of politics and music shaped my beliefs and tastes and made me the person I am today. Christmas is ruined.
Moby
What a shock - old punks never die they just stand at the back.
Nicky Wire, Manic Street Preachers
Numb, gutted & shocked - 3 words that sum up how I feel. Passionate, principled, genius - 3 words that sum up Joe Strummer.
Martin Scorcese
The Clash were a major influence on my own music, they were the best rock n roll band. Thanks Joe!!
Bruce Springsteen
Joe Strummer was a man who wasn't afraid to voice his beliefs. A passionate, vocal, sincere olde punk. The Clash produced a contrast to the nihilism of the Sex Pistols, and educated an audience about the realities of the state. Music has lost one of its true rebels.
Ken Livingston, London Mayor
The most profound voice of any musician I have ever heard, Joe took his message to the world and the world listened. He managed to influence more than one generation with his innovative and determined manner and I am not alone in repeatedly turning to his thoughts and lyrics when searching for inspiration.
Bono
Shocking news - The Clash had a massive influence on me in my teenage years and even now, 25 years later, hardly a week goes by without one of their albums featuring on my CD player. In the week that yet another dreadful, manufactured 'band' hits the charts Joe is a reminder of what music really should be like. One of the greatest songwriters and musicians of our time, he will be greatly missed.
Neil Tennant
God Bless him. He brought me many good times, happy moments and adrenalin rushes. London Calling will be the lasting testament to his muse and through that he and the rest of the band shall achieve immortality. One of the finest albums of the Twentieth Century and one of the most influential musicians of his generation.
John Peel
A tragedy, I saw Joe Strummer and the Mescalores play a gig for the fire fighters a few weeks ago. They were great and a real return to form, a sad loss for music and the left.
James Dean Bradfield
The Clash were innovative, radical and helped drive a change in music that was ground-breaking. In comparison to some of the music today they sounded like they meant it. I still listen to their music today to remind my self what music made with commitment sounds like.
Chrissie Hynde
The Clash turned punk into a proper political movement, and Joe Strummer showed recently that he still had much of value to say. It is a terrible tragedy to lose him at this early age.
David Bowie
A true genius, a man of class and convictions. A personal hero. I can't believe he is gone. My heart goes out to his wife and children
Mike D, Beastie Boys
I can't believe it. Joe was as huge an inspiration to me now as he was in 1977. He combined cool with an uncompromising stance, infused reggae into punk and taught a whole generation of us more about politics than any number of teachers or politicians. I desperately wish news of his death was untrue. Joe - you were the best.
Iggy Pop
Thursday, December 19
Tuesday, December 17
The golden wedding anniversary party turned out to be a gathering of racist rednecks with a taste for bad karaoke (like there's any other kind). Horrific.
Sunday was nice. Mum, Dad and me went to the Baltic Art Gallery. The art was lousy but the building was beautiful. The new footbridge connecting Newcastle and Gateshead is now flanked by two huge Julian Opie installations. The bridge was raised to let some sailors leave Newcastle. I waved my hanky.
Office christmas lunch today at this ancient establishment. Fine dining rooms overlooking the Thames I'm told.
Sunday was nice. Mum, Dad and me went to the Baltic Art Gallery. The art was lousy but the building was beautiful. The new footbridge connecting Newcastle and Gateshead is now flanked by two huge Julian Opie installations. The bridge was raised to let some sailors leave Newcastle. I waved my hanky.
Office christmas lunch today at this ancient establishment. Fine dining rooms overlooking the Thames I'm told.
Friday, December 13
Darren took me to Joe Allen for dinner last night. Gorgeous grub at this classic 'luvvie' hangout. Resting actors as waiters, c-list celebs buttering up their agents, rich dykes in suits drinking brandy at the bar and the best NY cheesecake in London. An ace treat, ta luv.
Off to Newcastle tomorow on a big fast train. To see Mum and Dad and trade christmas gifts. It's also my great aunts golden wedding anniversary party so should be a good opportunity to go round the room telling a pack of lies to various relatives I haven't seen in years. "Oh! Your Mum never told me you got married and have two little girls".
Off to Newcastle tomorow on a big fast train. To see Mum and Dad and trade christmas gifts. It's also my great aunts golden wedding anniversary party so should be a good opportunity to go round the room telling a pack of lies to various relatives I haven't seen in years. "Oh! Your Mum never told me you got married and have two little girls".
Thursday, December 12
My Mum and me 22 years ago.
It's my birthday today.
In the 60's they didn't tell you to stop smoking and drinking if you were pregnant. Not that my Mum smoked anyway but I think she liked the odd glass of sherry. Legend has it that I was induced by a greasy funfair lad. My Dad had taken my nine months pregnant Mum to a christmas fair in Newcastle. They went for a spin on the waltzer (that's a tilt-a-whirl for our American readers) and the greasy funfair worker spun their car a bit too fast. Bingo! Waters broke and Mums second ride of the day was in an ambulance.
I was a large baby. 9 months of chips, lard, bacon and cheap chocolate had ensured that both me and my Mum had grown quickly and substantially. So substantially that the doctors decided I was way too big for my Mum to pop out as she is five foot two and is classed as 'petite'. I entered this world through caesarian section which was not as common as it is today. In fact I left hospital two weeks before my Mum and was cared for by my Grandparents.
My Mum likes to tell the story of how, in those days, they didn't sew the caesarian wound closed, they stapled it shut. She even kept the little metal clips they used on her and when I was naughty she'd get them out to scare me and say "look what I went through for you!". Bless.
Anyway, thanks Mum (and Dad). Thanks for going through with it and thanks for making me.
This morning at 7.30 I was sitting up in bed playing 'The Getaway' on my PS2 thanks to my BF. The streets of London were littered with bodies due to my atrocious driving. Tonight is a special surprise from him but I was told to iron a nice shirt so I better dash and do it and then make my way to work.
It's my birthday today.
In the 60's they didn't tell you to stop smoking and drinking if you were pregnant. Not that my Mum smoked anyway but I think she liked the odd glass of sherry. Legend has it that I was induced by a greasy funfair lad. My Dad had taken my nine months pregnant Mum to a christmas fair in Newcastle. They went for a spin on the waltzer (that's a tilt-a-whirl for our American readers) and the greasy funfair worker spun their car a bit too fast. Bingo! Waters broke and Mums second ride of the day was in an ambulance.
I was a large baby. 9 months of chips, lard, bacon and cheap chocolate had ensured that both me and my Mum had grown quickly and substantially. So substantially that the doctors decided I was way too big for my Mum to pop out as she is five foot two and is classed as 'petite'. I entered this world through caesarian section which was not as common as it is today. In fact I left hospital two weeks before my Mum and was cared for by my Grandparents.
My Mum likes to tell the story of how, in those days, they didn't sew the caesarian wound closed, they stapled it shut. She even kept the little metal clips they used on her and when I was naughty she'd get them out to scare me and say "look what I went through for you!". Bless.
Anyway, thanks Mum (and Dad). Thanks for going through with it and thanks for making me.
This morning at 7.30 I was sitting up in bed playing 'The Getaway' on my PS2 thanks to my BF. The streets of London were littered with bodies due to my atrocious driving. Tonight is a special surprise from him but I was told to iron a nice shirt so I better dash and do it and then make my way to work.
Wednesday, December 11
What do you want to be when you grow up?
.......Happy.
I'm 38 tomorrow.
When my Dad was 38 I was 14. For my 14th birthday I received the Ramones album 'Leave Home' and a border collie puppy which I named Sheena ('Sheena Is A Punk Rocker' being my favourite track on that album).
If I had a 14 year old son with a birthday tomorrow I would buy him that Ramones album and get him a rescue dog from here.
.......Happy.
I'm 38 tomorrow.
When my Dad was 38 I was 14. For my 14th birthday I received the Ramones album 'Leave Home' and a border collie puppy which I named Sheena ('Sheena Is A Punk Rocker' being my favourite track on that album).
If I had a 14 year old son with a birthday tomorrow I would buy him that Ramones album and get him a rescue dog from here.
Tuesday, December 10
Blimey! Can't believe I've been working so hard lately. My assistant left to have a baby two weeks ago. The father is my boss. His wife was not pleased. Water cooler romance. I gave them my blessing. Anyway, the cow has left me in the lurch and now I have to do her work (which was originally mine which I foisted on her) as well as my own. Feckin' fertile females.
Manic Street Preachers were great. We squeezed down the front with a couple of stellas (beer not McCartney) and rocked out with the straight boys. Actually, we just nodded along with the other 30-something's around us. Didn't want to spill beer on the Armani duffel coat in front of me. Holy Bible received short shrift, the proles responding, naturally, to the big anthems like 'Design For Life'. We were drunk when we got home so cooked up a batch of Aberdeen Angus beef sausages and watched the Sopranos. Twas a grand end to a grand weekend.
Manic Street Preachers were great. We squeezed down the front with a couple of stellas (beer not McCartney) and rocked out with the straight boys. Actually, we just nodded along with the other 30-something's around us. Didn't want to spill beer on the Armani duffel coat in front of me. Holy Bible received short shrift, the proles responding, naturally, to the big anthems like 'Design For Life'. We were drunk when we got home so cooked up a batch of Aberdeen Angus beef sausages and watched the Sopranos. Twas a grand end to a grand weekend.
Sunday, December 8
Weird dawn dream this morning. Chick Corea was inserting LSD spiked suppositories up me whilst Hattie McDaniel wandered around the bedroom tut-tutting at the way I fold my t-shirts. Bruce Weber was on a paint splattered step-ladder shooting the whole scene. Needless to say we all looked fabulous.
Saturday, December 7
Turned onto them late but so glad to be listening now. Dirty Vegas debut and the latest from Underworld. Cock rock electric.
They Shoot Horses Don't They?
Big beautiful Bluewater. Yuletide presents obtained safely.
My bf can now see my rugged handsome features so much clearer thanks to Phillip Starck. Ready for collection in one hour sir! How modern is that?
December 21st 1994. London Astoria theatre. Last time I saw the Manic Street Preachers. Richeys guitar was plugged in. Brixton Academy tomorrow. Big boys now. Anyone want a Playbill?
Turned down free tickets to Primal Scream and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club tonight. Whats wrong with me? Actually I have knitting to finish. Half completed shawl for incontinent Grandmother. Watch those needles fly!
They Shoot Horses Don't They?
Big beautiful Bluewater. Yuletide presents obtained safely.
My bf can now see my rugged handsome features so much clearer thanks to Phillip Starck. Ready for collection in one hour sir! How modern is that?
December 21st 1994. London Astoria theatre. Last time I saw the Manic Street Preachers. Richeys guitar was plugged in. Brixton Academy tomorrow. Big boys now. Anyone want a Playbill?
Turned down free tickets to Primal Scream and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club tonight. Whats wrong with me? Actually I have knitting to finish. Half completed shawl for incontinent Grandmother. Watch those needles fly!
Friday, December 6
The black pill-box hat with veil are back in the wardrobe now but the black arm-bands stay on for another week.
Lakeside tomorrow with Darren. Getting stuff for Santa's sack. Manic Street Preachers on Sunday at Brixton Academy.
Barry loved the Manics. He made me see the genius in that difficult third album 'The Holy Bible'.
And in these plagued streets of pity you can buy anything
For $200, anyone can conceive a God on video
He's a boy, you want a girl so tear off his cock,
Tie his hair in bunches, fuck him, call him Rita if you want
Lakeside tomorrow with Darren. Getting stuff for Santa's sack. Manic Street Preachers on Sunday at Brixton Academy.
Barry loved the Manics. He made me see the genius in that difficult third album 'The Holy Bible'.
And in these plagued streets of pity you can buy anything
For $200, anyone can conceive a God on video
He's a boy, you want a girl so tear off his cock,
Tie his hair in bunches, fuck him, call him Rita if you want
Monday, December 2
"Goodbye to you my trusted friend........"
Barry.
April 1990 - 2nd December 2002.
You told me to lie on my bed on the floor
then left me for eight days
though to me it seemed longer.
In circles I turned and turned
searching for a way
to lie on my bed on the floor
and keep an eye on the door.
When John came we walked and played
for hours, though it seemed longer.
I knew you hadn't gone to the store,
but for an endless hospital stay
while I waited for you on the floor.
Each time the elevator door
opened, I'd bark and bay
hoping that it wouldn't be any longer,
that you'd be home before
the end of the day,
and we'd be in your bed off the floor.
We'd lie together with my paw
on your chest and stay
until morning, though it would seem longer.
When you came home just a little stronger
and I nosed and rubbed my favourite odour
you lay down on my bed on the floor
for an hour though to me it seemed longer.
Barry.
April 1990 - 2nd December 2002.
You told me to lie on my bed on the floor
then left me for eight days
though to me it seemed longer.
In circles I turned and turned
searching for a way
to lie on my bed on the floor
and keep an eye on the door.
When John came we walked and played
for hours, though it seemed longer.
I knew you hadn't gone to the store,
but for an endless hospital stay
while I waited for you on the floor.
Each time the elevator door
opened, I'd bark and bay
hoping that it wouldn't be any longer,
that you'd be home before
the end of the day,
and we'd be in your bed off the floor.
We'd lie together with my paw
on your chest and stay
until morning, though it would seem longer.
When you came home just a little stronger
and I nosed and rubbed my favourite odour
you lay down on my bed on the floor
for an hour though to me it seemed longer.
ZURICH
We had nice Swiss food, saw the Swarovski christmas tree, the Santa tram, the best toy train shop in the world, stroked dogs in restaurants (that's right, how civilised), watched 'Flawless' and 'The Broken Hearts Club', set up Toms computer (been in boxes for 3 months), walked beside Lake Zurich and rode on a tram. Easyjet on time both ways. Miracle! Thanks for your hospitality Tom.
We had nice Swiss food, saw the Swarovski christmas tree, the Santa tram, the best toy train shop in the world, stroked dogs in restaurants (that's right, how civilised), watched 'Flawless' and 'The Broken Hearts Club', set up Toms computer (been in boxes for 3 months), walked beside Lake Zurich and rode on a tram. Easyjet on time both ways. Miracle! Thanks for your hospitality Tom.
Sunday, December 1
Thursday, November 28
Lucio came round last night with the equipment to network our computers. Now we both have broadband. Bliss. Thanks Lucio.
We're off to Zurich tomorrow morning for the weekend to stay with our friend Tom and see the Christmas market. Hurrah for Easyjet cheap returns. Gorra drive to Luton at 5am though. Still, we should be fingering cute Christmas tree trinkets by 10am.
Lucio (regular readers will remember that our friendship was tested recently but is now rock solid again) is off to Australia on Sunday to see his family. Luckily, he is back in time to host his annual Christmas day gathering complete with too much food, too much wine and way too much hookah pipe.
So, have a smashing weekend everyone and make sure you vote wisely at Peters place.
We're off to Zurich tomorrow morning for the weekend to stay with our friend Tom and see the Christmas market. Hurrah for Easyjet cheap returns. Gorra drive to Luton at 5am though. Still, we should be fingering cute Christmas tree trinkets by 10am.
Lucio (regular readers will remember that our friendship was tested recently but is now rock solid again) is off to Australia on Sunday to see his family. Luckily, he is back in time to host his annual Christmas day gathering complete with too much food, too much wine and way too much hookah pipe.
So, have a smashing weekend everyone and make sure you vote wisely at Peters place.
Tuesday, November 26
100 Gay Great Britons.
Apparently you can vote for dead ones too. But obviously we won't be able to thank them for their valuable contributions to our lives. Never mind.
Here's my top ten. In no particular order.
1. Alan Hollinghurst
2. Peter Tatchell
3. Boy George
4. Mark Simpson
5. Nick Partridge
6. Patrick Gale
7. Morrissey
8. Serena McKellen
9. Alexander McQueen
10. Aiden Shaw
All alive and gagging for gratitude.
Apparently you can vote for dead ones too. But obviously we won't be able to thank them for their valuable contributions to our lives. Never mind.
Here's my top ten. In no particular order.
1. Alan Hollinghurst
2. Peter Tatchell
3. Boy George
4. Mark Simpson
5. Nick Partridge
6. Patrick Gale
7. Morrissey
8. Serena McKellen
9. Alexander McQueen
10. Aiden Shaw
All alive and gagging for gratitude.
Sunday, November 24
It's a dull ache rather than a pain and it's been there for a week. Started to worry me around Thursday last week and by Friday night I was googling for 'testicular cancer'. Mmmmmm, I seem to have several of the symptoms. Oh dear. Down to the local BUPA hospital yesterday for an inspection. Very nice Indian woman slapped on some latex gloves and gave me a bloody good handling. Told me to stop worrying about the big C. Said it was probably an internal infection and sent me home with antibiotics.
So down to Duckie last night with Darren, Martin and Lucio to celebrate the life of Yootha Joyce. Photocopy blow-ups of Yootha all over the pub. Man About The House on the telly on stage. Some whippersnapper next to me asked if the picture of Yootha was Paula Yates! He looked about 19 so I smacked him. They really are the best DJ's in the world you know. They blew that pub apart last night. 'Sheena Is A Punk Rocker' being particularly memorable. Chig will be pleased to know that 'Band Of Gold' slotted in very nicely between 'Hotel Yorba' and 'Being Boiled'. Got very drunk, which numbed my aching knackers.
So down to Duckie last night with Darren, Martin and Lucio to celebrate the life of Yootha Joyce. Photocopy blow-ups of Yootha all over the pub. Man About The House on the telly on stage. Some whippersnapper next to me asked if the picture of Yootha was Paula Yates! He looked about 19 so I smacked him. They really are the best DJ's in the world you know. They blew that pub apart last night. 'Sheena Is A Punk Rocker' being particularly memorable. Chig will be pleased to know that 'Band Of Gold' slotted in very nicely between 'Hotel Yorba' and 'Being Boiled'. Got very drunk, which numbed my aching knackers.
Thursday, November 21
It's not that......
......todays music is shite, god knows I loved the Strokes album and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs singles, but there's no revolution, no new-ness, nothing unique. When was the last EXCITING movement? Britpop? Acid House? fuck knows. Dug out my records last week, plugged in my old Dual deck and rediscovered NO Wave/Post Punk. It wasn't much of a movement I know but, for me, contained as much excitement as Punk. No Wave music reasserted the original anarchy and amateurism of punk rock while rejecting the formulaic rhythms of rock and roll, and the structure that came with regular chord changes and verse/chorus organization. These musicians explored the extremes rhythm and the textures of noise that could be produced with garage band equipment. As raw and fresh as it was, no wave sounded like an amalgam of weird 60's experiments, a blend of Sun Ra, the Velvet Underground, Yoko Ono, and Captain Beefheart, with echoes of disco thrown into the mix.
Amazon delivered to me today two vinyl albums; A South Bronx Story by ESG and In The Beginning There Was Rhythm by various artists. ESG were formed at the start of Hip-Hop. They became the most sampled of groups ever among their contemporaries such as Public Enemy, LL Cool J, Marley Marl and Grandmaster Flash. Shortly afterwards they were adopted by the underground dance scene. ESG are indeed the only group to play at the opening night of Manchester's legendary Hacienda and the closing night of New York's equally legendary Paradise Garage where they shared the night with Larry Levan. Originally signed to Factory Records in the UK their first album was produced by Martin Hannett and recorded at the same time as A Certain Ratio's classic To Each album. Current artists such as Le Tigre and Peaches constantly cite ESG as inspiration. In the early '80s, ESG inspired the new wave scene from dark and moody to dance-y, quirky, and all-around more inspired by black music, when they found themselves opening for acts like the Clash, A Certain Ratio, Public Image Ltd., Liquid Liquid, and Gang of Four.
ESG
Dancing at Club Soul Kitchen in Newcastle (later to become the top geordie label Kitchenware) on a thursday night in 1982 to ESG's 'Moody' followed by 23 Skidoo's 'Coup' was always one of the highlights of my week. Flat-tops, tartan shirts, Levis red tabs, Doc Martin loafers with tassles, lager 'n' black, girls with french plaits and 50's blouses, smoking while dancing then storming off the floor because the DJ was playing Theatre of Hates 'Westworld' for the third time that night. Memories. Fading fast.
How raw do you like your dance music? Does modern techno feel like a soft blow to your skull? There used to be a better way. In the Beginning There Was Rhythm is a compilation of British post-punk bands, including the Slits, Gang of Four, Throbbing Gristle, and Cabaret Voltaire. Lots of drums and wires, knife-sharp scratchy rhythm guitar, crappy synths, and old funk and reggae samples. Men shouting political slogans and naked women covered in mud. It may sound old, but it sure as hell isn't dated.This stuff is primal, made by people who were finding new ways to move us. Picture early man banging animal skins with sticks and that's your average live Slits show.
These songs came out of the bleak setting of industrial England in the late 70s and early 80s. The Thatcher administration came into power, and skinheads and members of the National Right roamed the streets. Against this climate, bands emerged embodying a new racial, sexual, and musical diversity. DJs spun reggae records at punk shows. Tape loops and synthesizers joined the guitar as lead instruments. Funk, dub, and experimental music were bigger influences than the Velvet Underground.
If there's anything's wrong with 'In The Beginning There Was Rhythm', it's that it's too short; the story of post-punk could take up several box sets. Many bands got left out, and it would also be interesting to hear how the bands developed-- for example, to watch the early Human League with its craptronic keyboards and all-guy line-up grow into the band that created the synth-pop masterpiece Dare. But the problem with big anthologies is that they inevitably use tracks that are important but aren't fun. This album, on the other hand, doesn't have a single limp tune. So, imagine you are in a cold, crowded warehouse in Deptford, rigged with neon-lights and heavy amps, people look like they are members of the Nazi Youth yet wear anti-nazi-league badges, Johnny Lydon is starting a drunken brawl in one corner and somewhere on a stage a heroin-addicted drummer is banging away like there is no tomorrow. You get the idea.
A Certain Ratio (which one d'ya wanna fuck most?)
......todays music is shite, god knows I loved the Strokes album and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs singles, but there's no revolution, no new-ness, nothing unique. When was the last EXCITING movement? Britpop? Acid House? fuck knows. Dug out my records last week, plugged in my old Dual deck and rediscovered NO Wave/Post Punk. It wasn't much of a movement I know but, for me, contained as much excitement as Punk. No Wave music reasserted the original anarchy and amateurism of punk rock while rejecting the formulaic rhythms of rock and roll, and the structure that came with regular chord changes and verse/chorus organization. These musicians explored the extremes rhythm and the textures of noise that could be produced with garage band equipment. As raw and fresh as it was, no wave sounded like an amalgam of weird 60's experiments, a blend of Sun Ra, the Velvet Underground, Yoko Ono, and Captain Beefheart, with echoes of disco thrown into the mix.
Amazon delivered to me today two vinyl albums; A South Bronx Story by ESG and In The Beginning There Was Rhythm by various artists. ESG were formed at the start of Hip-Hop. They became the most sampled of groups ever among their contemporaries such as Public Enemy, LL Cool J, Marley Marl and Grandmaster Flash. Shortly afterwards they were adopted by the underground dance scene. ESG are indeed the only group to play at the opening night of Manchester's legendary Hacienda and the closing night of New York's equally legendary Paradise Garage where they shared the night with Larry Levan. Originally signed to Factory Records in the UK their first album was produced by Martin Hannett and recorded at the same time as A Certain Ratio's classic To Each album. Current artists such as Le Tigre and Peaches constantly cite ESG as inspiration. In the early '80s, ESG inspired the new wave scene from dark and moody to dance-y, quirky, and all-around more inspired by black music, when they found themselves opening for acts like the Clash, A Certain Ratio, Public Image Ltd., Liquid Liquid, and Gang of Four.
ESG
Dancing at Club Soul Kitchen in Newcastle (later to become the top geordie label Kitchenware) on a thursday night in 1982 to ESG's 'Moody' followed by 23 Skidoo's 'Coup' was always one of the highlights of my week. Flat-tops, tartan shirts, Levis red tabs, Doc Martin loafers with tassles, lager 'n' black, girls with french plaits and 50's blouses, smoking while dancing then storming off the floor because the DJ was playing Theatre of Hates 'Westworld' for the third time that night. Memories. Fading fast.
How raw do you like your dance music? Does modern techno feel like a soft blow to your skull? There used to be a better way. In the Beginning There Was Rhythm is a compilation of British post-punk bands, including the Slits, Gang of Four, Throbbing Gristle, and Cabaret Voltaire. Lots of drums and wires, knife-sharp scratchy rhythm guitar, crappy synths, and old funk and reggae samples. Men shouting political slogans and naked women covered in mud. It may sound old, but it sure as hell isn't dated.This stuff is primal, made by people who were finding new ways to move us. Picture early man banging animal skins with sticks and that's your average live Slits show.
These songs came out of the bleak setting of industrial England in the late 70s and early 80s. The Thatcher administration came into power, and skinheads and members of the National Right roamed the streets. Against this climate, bands emerged embodying a new racial, sexual, and musical diversity. DJs spun reggae records at punk shows. Tape loops and synthesizers joined the guitar as lead instruments. Funk, dub, and experimental music were bigger influences than the Velvet Underground.
If there's anything's wrong with 'In The Beginning There Was Rhythm', it's that it's too short; the story of post-punk could take up several box sets. Many bands got left out, and it would also be interesting to hear how the bands developed-- for example, to watch the early Human League with its craptronic keyboards and all-guy line-up grow into the band that created the synth-pop masterpiece Dare. But the problem with big anthologies is that they inevitably use tracks that are important but aren't fun. This album, on the other hand, doesn't have a single limp tune. So, imagine you are in a cold, crowded warehouse in Deptford, rigged with neon-lights and heavy amps, people look like they are members of the Nazi Youth yet wear anti-nazi-league badges, Johnny Lydon is starting a drunken brawl in one corner and somewhere on a stage a heroin-addicted drummer is banging away like there is no tomorrow. You get the idea.
A Certain Ratio (which one d'ya wanna fuck most?)
Wednesday, November 20
East to West, which is best?
They all have their merits. Route number 3 lets me see this everyday.
Route number 1
Lea Valley reservoirs, Seven Sisters, Stoke Newington, Islington, Smithfield meat market, Victoria Embankment, Parliament Square, St James Park, Victoria. 40 minutes.
Route number 2
Lea Valley reservoirs, Seven Sisters, Dalston, Shoreditch, Tower of London, City, Victoria Embankment, Parliament Square, St James Park, Victoria. 40 minutes.
Route number 3
Lea Valley reservoirs, Seven Sisters, Manor House, Stoke Newington, Highbury, Upper Street Islington, Sadlers Wells, Holborn, Shaftsbury Avenue, Haymarket, Pall Mall, The Mall, Buckingham Palace, Victoria. 40 minutes.
They all have their merits. Route number 3 lets me see this everyday.
Route number 1
Lea Valley reservoirs, Seven Sisters, Stoke Newington, Islington, Smithfield meat market, Victoria Embankment, Parliament Square, St James Park, Victoria. 40 minutes.
Route number 2
Lea Valley reservoirs, Seven Sisters, Dalston, Shoreditch, Tower of London, City, Victoria Embankment, Parliament Square, St James Park, Victoria. 40 minutes.
Route number 3
Lea Valley reservoirs, Seven Sisters, Manor House, Stoke Newington, Highbury, Upper Street Islington, Sadlers Wells, Holborn, Shaftsbury Avenue, Haymarket, Pall Mall, The Mall, Buckingham Palace, Victoria. 40 minutes.
Gotta love 'em!
A fight between friends over who had the hairiest buttocks landed one of them in the hospital and the other in jail, according to police. Police in New Jersey said Emmanuel Nieves and Erik Saporito were talking with friends Wednesday about their buttocks when the conversation became heated. Nieves got so upset, he allegedly pulled a knife and slashed Saporito on the head. Saporito is in good condition after being treated at a Hackettstown hospital. Nieves is being held on $25,000 bond. Charges include aggravated assault, terroristic threats, weapons offenses and criminal mischief.
Thank you for bringing this gem to my attention.
A fight between friends over who had the hairiest buttocks landed one of them in the hospital and the other in jail, according to police. Police in New Jersey said Emmanuel Nieves and Erik Saporito were talking with friends Wednesday about their buttocks when the conversation became heated. Nieves got so upset, he allegedly pulled a knife and slashed Saporito on the head. Saporito is in good condition after being treated at a Hackettstown hospital. Nieves is being held on $25,000 bond. Charges include aggravated assault, terroristic threats, weapons offenses and criminal mischief.
Thank you for bringing this gem to my attention.
Tuesday, November 19
For Sale
* 1985 Blue Volkswagen Golf
* Only 15 miles on the clock
* Only first gear and reverse ever used
* Never driven fast
* Original tires
* Original brakes
* Original fuel and oil
* Only 1 owner
* Photo here
* 1985 Blue Volkswagen Golf
* Only 15 miles on the clock
* Only first gear and reverse ever used
* Never driven fast
* Original tires
* Original brakes
* Original fuel and oil
* Only 1 owner
* Photo here
Sunday, November 17
SHAME
Another weekend over. Where does the time go?
* Sopranos, series 3, DVD. Nearly watched 'em all now.
* Re-mixing and mashing old vinyl tunes into each other on Cool Edit Pro.
* Rabbit Proof Fence. Go, just go.
Another weekend over. Where does the time go?
* Sopranos, series 3, DVD. Nearly watched 'em all now.
* Re-mixing and mashing old vinyl tunes into each other on Cool Edit Pro.
* Rabbit Proof Fence. Go, just go.
Friday, November 15
How could I have possibly forgotten how brilliant 'Junk Yard' by the Birthday Party and 'Pirates' by Rickie Lee Jones were? How have I survived without them for so long? Can you tell I'm sitting on the floor amongst a pile of vinyl squealing with delight at the clicks and pops on 25 year old records?
Like Alan said, it’s terrible when you want to post but have nothing to say. And so, in the spirit of laziness, here’s a list of stuff which particularized this past week:
* Crazy busy at work despite not being paid enough to do it
* Diana had one. Here’s mine, my rock
* To friends, and long may they continue to be
* Short back and sides
* The warmth of vinyl, illustrated by a new phono pre-amp
* Transport crisis. Give them 40% Tony.
* Barry
* Waterproofs, everyday this week
* Only 200 12” copies of Bjorks new song exist and I have one
* Saturday is 12 hours away.............
Wednesday, November 13
Monday, November 11
Sunday, November 10
Ministers and Minarets
Just like I thought, time flew. Jet lag, meetings with Ministers and dinners at the British Embassy all conspired to make the whirlwind trip simply whizz by. Good to be back. And to gifts too! Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 has sucked up most of my weekend. Bjorks Greatest Hits has entertained my ears and my husband has got us tickets to a special low-key Manic Street Preachers gig at Brixton Academy on 8 December. Hurrah! I should go away on business more often! (thanks kidda)
Just like I thought, time flew. Jet lag, meetings with Ministers and dinners at the British Embassy all conspired to make the whirlwind trip simply whizz by. Good to be back. And to gifts too! Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 has sucked up most of my weekend. Bjorks Greatest Hits has entertained my ears and my husband has got us tickets to a special low-key Manic Street Preachers gig at Brixton Academy on 8 December. Hurrah! I should go away on business more often! (thanks kidda)
Tuesday, November 5
I'm on the red-eye to Tashkent tonight. A whirlwind visit which will hopefully pass in the blink of a snow-leopards eye. Missing you all already. But especially you.
Monday, November 4
Sunday, November 3
Just got back from watching Donnie Darko. Amazing. Brilliant. Clever. A script and a half.
Which Donnie Darko character are you? I was Gretchen (and I get to sleep with Donnie).
Which Donnie Darko character are you? I was Gretchen (and I get to sleep with Donnie).
Ma and Pa after they discovered I was a homo!
Saw '28 Days Later' last night. Like Darren said, as we dashed from multiplex to car in a shocking downpour, "it was a good ITV drama but a poor cinema experience" ('Chimera' anyone?). True. The scenes shot on digital video were blurry and colour washed (remember how good DV can look? see '24 Hour Party people') and the script was, as Darren said, very ITV after the watershed. Good stuff included seeing London streets totally deserted, zombies running faster than Linford and the sly little homage to Romero's 'Dawn of the Dead' (which takes place in a Budgens supermarket instead of a huge shopping mall). Better than 'The Beach' or 'A Life Less Ordinary' though. C'mon Danny, 3 stinkers and 2 winners, get ya finger out!
We watched 'Wild Things' on dvd when we got home. Much better. And you get to see Kevin Bacons cock!
Saw '28 Days Later' last night. Like Darren said, as we dashed from multiplex to car in a shocking downpour, "it was a good ITV drama but a poor cinema experience" ('Chimera' anyone?). True. The scenes shot on digital video were blurry and colour washed (remember how good DV can look? see '24 Hour Party people') and the script was, as Darren said, very ITV after the watershed. Good stuff included seeing London streets totally deserted, zombies running faster than Linford and the sly little homage to Romero's 'Dawn of the Dead' (which takes place in a Budgens supermarket instead of a huge shopping mall). Better than 'The Beach' or 'A Life Less Ordinary' though. C'mon Danny, 3 stinkers and 2 winners, get ya finger out!
We watched 'Wild Things' on dvd when we got home. Much better. And you get to see Kevin Bacons cock!
Friday, November 1
I've been off work today. My boss gave me the day off as I'm off to Uzbekistan next Tuesday for four days. I've got to take a Tory MP and show him how a Government should NOT be run. Oh! silly me, he already knows that.
Been painting all day. The oven has now vanished (see below). Now the walls are pure white, just like a very small art gallery but with no pictures. Have you any idea how long it takes to get all of the paint out of a sheepskin roller? Frickin ages.
Been painting all day. The oven has now vanished (see below). Now the walls are pure white, just like a very small art gallery but with no pictures. Have you any idea how long it takes to get all of the paint out of a sheepskin roller? Frickin ages.
Did I mention that Jimmy Corkhill was in the next room to us in our New York hotel? He's a bummer you know.
Death To Cool
Shoreditch Twat is on TV right now. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ironic. And funny!
Oh how we cheered when 'Nick' Lavelle (read James) was killed by the sniper. Hurrah!
Death To Cool
Shoreditch Twat is on TV right now. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ironic. And funny!
Oh how we cheered when 'Nick' Lavelle (read James) was killed by the sniper. Hurrah!
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