Anyway, my cleaner has arrived so I'm off up to the ramparts to finish this jug of mead and to fling a few balls of molten lead at the villagers. There's a banquet tonight and I'm doing peacock-in-a-basket followed by wild boar burgers. Good job I had a bath last year because I hear the crusades are completed and the knights are returning *lifts doormat looking for chastity belt key*.