Vera has got the hots summit rotten. She must be on hormones or crystal meth cos is she randy at the moment! She nearly raped Jack in their rented caravan in Formby. He looked like a startled rabbit in headlights when they emerged from their bedroom. Jack escaped back to Coronation Street to see if his pigeons had returned (he took his pigeons on holiday!). When he got back to their house he saw Maria in the nude and Tyrone in his boxers (lovely hairy legs). They cooked him sausage and eggs and then packed him back to the caravan. When he got back to rain soaked Formby Vera belted him and shouted that she’d worn out her Matt Munro tape waiting for him to get back. Real life eh. Big Brother is back and it’s like TV methadone. My favourites so far are Science and Kemal. Craig thinks he’s from Hoxton but he’s actually from somewhere called Norfolk. If Mary is that miserable why doesn’t she just fly over the fricken wall on her broom? Sam should get a refund from her plastic surgeon. Mokosi is royalty (and don’t she know it). Derek is fond of 14yr old white-trash boys (I made this up). Anthony has a touch of the tar brush in him (and is favourite to have a very short lived singing career). Maxwell is a bit cnuty but is excused as he knows he is. If Russ Meyer wasn’t dead I’d say he’d had a hand in choosing the contestants. Jodi Marsh and Jordan should worry about their crowns in the next few months. I suddenly fancy a JUG of pimms.
As you can tell from this dull post summer lethargy is finally here. The weekend in Lancashire was just grand. We day-tripped to Southport, watched telly, ate pizza, beach walked, shopped at poundland and slept.
Friday, May 27
Flippin' heck it's hot! Not much pleasure cycling when it's 26 degrees (but heaps more comfortable than riding the tube). We're off to Blackpool tonight so that should put an end to this sudden summer. Missed Kath and Kim last night so if anyone taped it I'll send you a stamp addressed envelope....*ten mins later* actually forget that, I've just ordered series 1,2 and 3 on DVD from Australia (isn't the £ strong against the Aussie $!).
Rich tea biscuits are very porous aren't they *reaches for spoon*.
Rich tea biscuits are very porous aren't they *reaches for spoon*.
Thursday, May 26
Can't. Stop. Watching.
(watch it all and wet ya self laughing).
Thanks Jocko.
------------------------------------------
It's a long post with limited appeal but I really enjoyed writing it
In Time Out this week they have a list of the 100 greatest London gigs ever. Dunno how they landed this list but it’s an interesting read. I’m not a big gig-goer but I managed four in the list of 100.
No46 – Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. June 20 1981. The Venue in Victoria (now a pizza restaurant called Ask).
I was 16 years old and had started coming down to London with mates on the National Express coach. We would usually stay for a couple of days and never used hotels. We would rely on all-night movie showings at the Scala cinema in Kings Cross (why was Liquid Sky or Pixote always on?), or clubs that didn’t shut till dawn (St Moritz, Gargoyle or Batcave). Days were filled with Kings Road strolling and hanging out at weirdo Kensington Market.
The Clash had recommended Grandmaster Flash in NME interviews so it was great to get to London and discover tickets were still available for that night. I don’t remember too much about the event but I do remember that it was a mostly white audience and that I was worried about that fella on stage brutally scratching his records “he’s gonna need a new needle after tonight”.
No25. Manic Street Preachers. 21 December 1994. Astoria.
This was the last of their three night run at this venue. The first two nights sold out in hours and the third was added just a week before the show so demand wasn’t as great and I managed to nab a ticket. It turned out to be the best night (so they say). They were blinding, utterly fantastic, painfully loud and tight as a ducks arse under water. This was the Holy Bible tour so anger was the raison d'etre on stage. There was camouflage netting behind the band and minimal stage lighting. They played right up to the 11pm curfew and then the lights were turned on. That’s when Nicky and Richey started to trash the equipment. The crowd bayed for more, the roadies stayed at the side of the stage (this was the last night of a long tour), amps, guitars and netting were all hurled to the floor and Christmas was just four days away. Champion!
No24. Pet Shop Boys. June 7 1991. Wembley Arena.
Less costume changes than the chaotic show at Wembley the previous year (the one with the Derek Jarman films) but beautiful staging by famous opera-set designers. I went to this show with a girl from work and she admitted that she fancied Neil Tennant and not Chris Lowe! Her white stick and Labrador secured us great seats.
No19. The Jesus And Mary Chain. March 15 1985. North London Poly.
I lived and worked in a pub in Fulham in 1985. I begged for the night off to go to this gig. I had a mono cassette player in my bedroom and played ‘Upside Down’, taped from John Peel, several times a day. It was a very exciting period as it was suddenly OK to enjoy different styles of music; Sade, Smiths, GoGo, King Kurt (OK, maybe not that last one). I remember standing outside the venue waiting to go in and the JAMC arrived on foot carrying their guitars and ignoring the jibes from the crowd (folk loved to hate them at the start because of their ‘fuck you’ stage attitude) and swanned in through the stage door. When they took the stage over an hour late, with the house lights on, bottles and glasses flew at them. They attempted to play something but the roar of hatred from the crowd drowned them out. So they turned their amps to 11 and leaned their guitars against them which made 1000 people immediately cover their ears to stem the flow of blood. They stood at the edge of the stage and stared at the crowd before walking off leaving a satanic noise screaming through the hall. That’s when the speaker stacks were pulled over, the curtains set on fire and the police rushed in. I was euphoric on the way home. The violence and noise had been perfect and I had to tell someone. I called my mate Gary in Northumberland from a phone box to tell him about it. His mother answered and said “check your watch next time you call David, we’ve all been in bed for over an hour and I’m doing an early shift in the morning, goodnight”. Back down to earth with a crash.
Other gigs in the list I would love to have attended:
No87. Scissor Sisters at Brixton Academy, October 31 2004 (that Halloween show).
No82. Bjork at the Royal Opera House, December 16 2001. Never seen her. Must change this before I die (or she does).
No60. Swans at the Town and Country Club, October 14 1987. I love a good ear bleeding.
No56. Einsturzende Neubaten with Showaddywaddy at Kilburn National, September 7 1987. A dream double-bill.
No28. Bowie at the Rainbow, August 19 1972. Roxy Music supported, full Ziggy costume show and Elton John in the audience.
No13. Soft Cell farewell show at Hammersmith palais, January 10 1984. An event apparently.
(watch it all and wet ya self laughing).
Thanks Jocko.
------------------------------------------
It's a long post with limited appeal but I really enjoyed writing it
In Time Out this week they have a list of the 100 greatest London gigs ever. Dunno how they landed this list but it’s an interesting read. I’m not a big gig-goer but I managed four in the list of 100.
No46 – Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. June 20 1981. The Venue in Victoria (now a pizza restaurant called Ask).
I was 16 years old and had started coming down to London with mates on the National Express coach. We would usually stay for a couple of days and never used hotels. We would rely on all-night movie showings at the Scala cinema in Kings Cross (why was Liquid Sky or Pixote always on?), or clubs that didn’t shut till dawn (St Moritz, Gargoyle or Batcave). Days were filled with Kings Road strolling and hanging out at weirdo Kensington Market.
The Clash had recommended Grandmaster Flash in NME interviews so it was great to get to London and discover tickets were still available for that night. I don’t remember too much about the event but I do remember that it was a mostly white audience and that I was worried about that fella on stage brutally scratching his records “he’s gonna need a new needle after tonight”.
No25. Manic Street Preachers. 21 December 1994. Astoria.
This was the last of their three night run at this venue. The first two nights sold out in hours and the third was added just a week before the show so demand wasn’t as great and I managed to nab a ticket. It turned out to be the best night (so they say). They were blinding, utterly fantastic, painfully loud and tight as a ducks arse under water. This was the Holy Bible tour so anger was the raison d'etre on stage. There was camouflage netting behind the band and minimal stage lighting. They played right up to the 11pm curfew and then the lights were turned on. That’s when Nicky and Richey started to trash the equipment. The crowd bayed for more, the roadies stayed at the side of the stage (this was the last night of a long tour), amps, guitars and netting were all hurled to the floor and Christmas was just four days away. Champion!
No24. Pet Shop Boys. June 7 1991. Wembley Arena.
Less costume changes than the chaotic show at Wembley the previous year (the one with the Derek Jarman films) but beautiful staging by famous opera-set designers. I went to this show with a girl from work and she admitted that she fancied Neil Tennant and not Chris Lowe! Her white stick and Labrador secured us great seats.
No19. The Jesus And Mary Chain. March 15 1985. North London Poly.
I lived and worked in a pub in Fulham in 1985. I begged for the night off to go to this gig. I had a mono cassette player in my bedroom and played ‘Upside Down’, taped from John Peel, several times a day. It was a very exciting period as it was suddenly OK to enjoy different styles of music; Sade, Smiths, GoGo, King Kurt (OK, maybe not that last one). I remember standing outside the venue waiting to go in and the JAMC arrived on foot carrying their guitars and ignoring the jibes from the crowd (folk loved to hate them at the start because of their ‘fuck you’ stage attitude) and swanned in through the stage door. When they took the stage over an hour late, with the house lights on, bottles and glasses flew at them. They attempted to play something but the roar of hatred from the crowd drowned them out. So they turned their amps to 11 and leaned their guitars against them which made 1000 people immediately cover their ears to stem the flow of blood. They stood at the edge of the stage and stared at the crowd before walking off leaving a satanic noise screaming through the hall. That’s when the speaker stacks were pulled over, the curtains set on fire and the police rushed in. I was euphoric on the way home. The violence and noise had been perfect and I had to tell someone. I called my mate Gary in Northumberland from a phone box to tell him about it. His mother answered and said “check your watch next time you call David, we’ve all been in bed for over an hour and I’m doing an early shift in the morning, goodnight”. Back down to earth with a crash.
Other gigs in the list I would love to have attended:
No87. Scissor Sisters at Brixton Academy, October 31 2004 (that Halloween show).
No82. Bjork at the Royal Opera House, December 16 2001. Never seen her. Must change this before I die (or she does).
No60. Swans at the Town and Country Club, October 14 1987. I love a good ear bleeding.
No56. Einsturzende Neubaten with Showaddywaddy at Kilburn National, September 7 1987. A dream double-bill.
No28. Bowie at the Rainbow, August 19 1972. Roxy Music supported, full Ziggy costume show and Elton John in the audience.
No13. Soft Cell farewell show at Hammersmith palais, January 10 1984. An event apparently.
Wednesday, May 25
Last week our canteen at work hired a famous chef each day to cook for us. Actually, I don't think they physically cooked anything, they just stood around and watched their recipes being mangled by the in-house excuse for a chef. I ate there on the Gordon Ramsey day. Halibut on a bed of creamed spinach with green beans. Very nice and only £3.50 (the price of a glass of water at his restaurant here). Rick Stein and Madhur Jaffrey also donned a pinny to feed the hungry but I never got to sample their goodies. The kitchen staff must have been energised by their star-studded week as today I enjoyed a lovely moist chicken breast with puy lentils (wednesdays is usually pie, chips and beans).
*dabs corner of mouth with shirt sleeve*
--------------------------------------
Went to see Towers Of London Last night at the Garage. Rod Stewart 70’s hair, 80’s metal guitar solo’s and shouty type singing. Very noisy and not a patch on The Toilet Boys (who do this kind of thing so much better). Obviously, they’ll go far.
NZ band The Checks supported. They were better than ToL. Smart young men with retro tastes (Stones, James Brown, Who, Kinks) who will hopefully erase the horrors that are D4 and The Datsuns from NZ’s musical history books.
*dabs corner of mouth with shirt sleeve*
--------------------------------------
Went to see Towers Of London Last night at the Garage. Rod Stewart 70’s hair, 80’s metal guitar solo’s and shouty type singing. Very noisy and not a patch on The Toilet Boys (who do this kind of thing so much better). Obviously, they’ll go far.
NZ band The Checks supported. They were better than ToL. Smart young men with retro tastes (Stones, James Brown, Who, Kinks) who will hopefully erase the horrors that are D4 and The Datsuns from NZ’s musical history books.
Tuesday, May 24
"How could I have missed all this for so long?"
Fantastic article in the Guardian last week by their travel editor on his first ever visit to Blackpool.
"In the early evening, the Pleasure Beach was bathed in that wonderful light that only a west-facing coast can conjure up, tingeing the profiteroles at the White Tower restaurant orange." Beautiful.
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Spellcnut 'Skool of Rock ' exam results for May 2005
Chromeo – She’s In Control - 5/10. Kept hearing tracks here and there (most memorably in a wee indie shop in Stockholm last autumn) and finally got the album. Several listens so far and it’s not gripped me. Maybe it’s a grower not a show-er.
The Departure – All Mapped Out - 5/10. Am I the only one who wants to slit the singer’s throat half way through so I don’t have to hear that ridiculous cockney accent? Short on tunes. Nice haircuts and jumpers though.
Art Brut – Bang Bang Rock ‘n’ Roll - 8/10. Strangely I don’t find the ridiculous cockney accent on this one annoying at all. The sarcastic lyrics lift this one out of the pub-rock bracket. They’re like a shouty Squeeze.
The Rakes – Singles and Xfm demos - 8/10. Loving this. Fast and fuming. These mad boys sing about stuff like city-job envy, blue balls and towns on the French/German border. Saw them at the Barfly last year and they made an unholy racket (in a bad way), hope they’ve tightened up since then.
The Engineers – 5/10. What’s all the fuss about? Nothing like My Bloody Valentine (unfortunately).
Vitalic – OK Cowboy – 9/10. French disco/electro/techno. Like Mylo? Get Vitalic!
The Cribs – The New Fellas - 8/10. First heard on the radio in the car on the way to Blackpool (spookily, two hours later, as we turned into our street, there was a Cribs poster on the wall advertising their gig in Preston last weekend). They’re from Yorkshire too (sworn enemy of Lancashire). Most likely to succeed.
Maximo Park – A Certain Trigger – 9/10. So what if they are riding The Futureheads coat-tails. This clever power-pop debut is chock-a-block with meaty tunes. Geordie smart-kids done good.
Fantastic article in the Guardian last week by their travel editor on his first ever visit to Blackpool.
"In the early evening, the Pleasure Beach was bathed in that wonderful light that only a west-facing coast can conjure up, tingeing the profiteroles at the White Tower restaurant orange." Beautiful.
--------------------------------------
Spellcnut 'Skool of Rock ' exam results for May 2005
Chromeo – She’s In Control - 5/10. Kept hearing tracks here and there (most memorably in a wee indie shop in Stockholm last autumn) and finally got the album. Several listens so far and it’s not gripped me. Maybe it’s a grower not a show-er.
The Departure – All Mapped Out - 5/10. Am I the only one who wants to slit the singer’s throat half way through so I don’t have to hear that ridiculous cockney accent? Short on tunes. Nice haircuts and jumpers though.
Art Brut – Bang Bang Rock ‘n’ Roll - 8/10. Strangely I don’t find the ridiculous cockney accent on this one annoying at all. The sarcastic lyrics lift this one out of the pub-rock bracket. They’re like a shouty Squeeze.
The Rakes – Singles and Xfm demos - 8/10. Loving this. Fast and fuming. These mad boys sing about stuff like city-job envy, blue balls and towns on the French/German border. Saw them at the Barfly last year and they made an unholy racket (in a bad way), hope they’ve tightened up since then.
The Engineers – 5/10. What’s all the fuss about? Nothing like My Bloody Valentine (unfortunately).
Vitalic – OK Cowboy – 9/10. French disco/electro/techno. Like Mylo? Get Vitalic!
The Cribs – The New Fellas - 8/10. First heard on the radio in the car on the way to Blackpool (spookily, two hours later, as we turned into our street, there was a Cribs poster on the wall advertising their gig in Preston last weekend). They’re from Yorkshire too (sworn enemy of Lancashire). Most likely to succeed.
Maximo Park – A Certain Trigger – 9/10. So what if they are riding The Futureheads coat-tails. This clever power-pop debut is chock-a-block with meaty tunes. Geordie smart-kids done good.
Monday, May 23
Saw Episode III at the weekend. Thought it was great. Hated Episodes I & II and this was a vast improvement. I thought Anakins descent to the dark side was very credible (Victor Meldrew doesn't agree - welcome back!). Edward is pestering us for one of these.
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Every sq km of the UK photographed. Put your town in the search box and see. If it's not there send them some pics. (warning: serious time-suckage ahead)
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Every sq km of the UK photographed. Put your town in the search box and see. If it's not there send them some pics. (warning: serious time-suckage ahead)
Thursday, May 19
I get bored, I do get bored
I was never a big fan of Bauhaus (Disney on acid and Bauhaus on his walkman - class) but last night I downloaded their first two albums and was astounded by how ‘now’ they sound. If I played this stuff to an eighteen year old fan of Maximo Park, The Rakes or Bloc Party they would get very excited about this ‘new’ group. The choppy guitars, the sparse sounding drums, the pretentious lyrics...
Small talk stinks
See the young man in his new gown
Talking up to his bouffant drag
He say he loves you with flowers
Something that he's never had
A sentence should be like a serpent
Quick with a sting in its tail
String me a line that has meaning and depth
There's no small talk with walky talkies
Small talk stinks
...and the minimalist style of production are all in attendance. It doesn’t sound goth at all today and I can picture Bauhaus doing a roaring trade if they re-form and sport nice two piece suits and smart haircuts (the thing I hated most about them back then was Daniel Ash’s crimped hair). Oh, wait a minute, they did re-form and they just played at Coachella. Next thing you know Gang Of Four will be touring again!
I was never a big fan of Bauhaus (Disney on acid and Bauhaus on his walkman - class) but last night I downloaded their first two albums and was astounded by how ‘now’ they sound. If I played this stuff to an eighteen year old fan of Maximo Park, The Rakes or Bloc Party they would get very excited about this ‘new’ group. The choppy guitars, the sparse sounding drums, the pretentious lyrics...
Small talk stinks
See the young man in his new gown
Talking up to his bouffant drag
He say he loves you with flowers
Something that he's never had
A sentence should be like a serpent
Quick with a sting in its tail
String me a line that has meaning and depth
There's no small talk with walky talkies
Small talk stinks
...and the minimalist style of production are all in attendance. It doesn’t sound goth at all today and I can picture Bauhaus doing a roaring trade if they re-form and sport nice two piece suits and smart haircuts (the thing I hated most about them back then was Daniel Ash’s crimped hair). Oh, wait a minute, they did re-form and they just played at Coachella. Next thing you know Gang Of Four will be touring again!
Tuesday, May 17
I don't have an ipod but I still found this hilarious. Rezillos beats Pet Shop Boys. It's the new scissors-paper-rock.
(spotted over at Jocko)
-----------------------------------------
I'm a bit late with this one but now that I have discovered its perfection I'm addicted. Antony And The Johnsons - Now I'm A Bird. Utter utter brilliance. It makes me nearly weep. That voice, that dark-chocolate Nina Simone voice hums with pain, longing and fear (made even more astounding when you remember he's a white boy). The sister song duet with Boy George made me stop cycling this morning in a back street in Hackney. I just stopped the bike and sat there listening, really really listening hard. If you don't have this cd yet please get it. If you don't buy cd's change that today and buy this.
And if you want to buy two cd's while you're in the shop then I also recommend Mesmerize by System Of A Down. Clever metal I call it.
(spotted over at Jocko)
-----------------------------------------
I'm a bit late with this one but now that I have discovered its perfection I'm addicted. Antony And The Johnsons - Now I'm A Bird. Utter utter brilliance. It makes me nearly weep. That voice, that dark-chocolate Nina Simone voice hums with pain, longing and fear (made even more astounding when you remember he's a white boy). The sister song duet with Boy George made me stop cycling this morning in a back street in Hackney. I just stopped the bike and sat there listening, really really listening hard. If you don't have this cd yet please get it. If you don't buy cd's change that today and buy this.
And if you want to buy two cd's while you're in the shop then I also recommend Mesmerize by System Of A Down. Clever metal I call it.
Monday, May 16
I really wanted to like the new Moby album. But it's just boring. Not even as good as the one before it which itself wasn't a patch on the one before that (which was pretty good actually). Anyway, this made me smile (scroll down to the Moby piece).
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T-shirts and sunny Sunday weather. Socks and sandals on and down to the dunes in South Blackpool. From Fleetwood to the Pleasure Beach there are wide flat sands but just as Blackpool gives way to St Anne's big hairy sand dunes loom large and reveal great views over the airport and town. Edward had a great time running up and down the steep sand hills while Darren and I slid down the fine sand on our fat asses. We'd left the car at Starr Gate (next to the Arnold Palmer crazy golf course) and hadn't expected the dunes to be so lovely. We longed for a tartan blanket with a cold chicken picnic and promised to bring one next time. These dunes are under threat from modern life and only cover a tenth of the area they did 100 years ago (which is really sad but inevitable).
-----------------------------------
T-shirts and sunny Sunday weather. Socks and sandals on and down to the dunes in South Blackpool. From Fleetwood to the Pleasure Beach there are wide flat sands but just as Blackpool gives way to St Anne's big hairy sand dunes loom large and reveal great views over the airport and town. Edward had a great time running up and down the steep sand hills while Darren and I slid down the fine sand on our fat asses. We'd left the car at Starr Gate (next to the Arnold Palmer crazy golf course) and hadn't expected the dunes to be so lovely. We longed for a tartan blanket with a cold chicken picnic and promised to bring one next time. These dunes are under threat from modern life and only cover a tenth of the area they did 100 years ago (which is really sad but inevitable).
Thursday, May 12
Darren's family had a dog called Chance. A lovely big spaniel who left slobber on your pants after he'd said hello. Chance died yesterday, heart attack, old age etc, and now he's buried in the back garden. I like to think that Barry, Sheena and Boo Boo (Edward's predecessors on my side of the family) met Chance at the gates of doggy heaven and they all ran off into the sunny meadow leaping for butterfly's. *sobs at that mental image*
Darren supports Everton and they were beaten by Arsenal last night, 7-0, so he had a pretty shitty day yesterday. However, it's sunny today and we're off to Blackpool tonight for a weekend of sea air and northern food so things can only get better.
As someone who always likes a tidy room I found this compelling. Like watching a car smash - hypnotizing. Apparently she's addicted to ebay.
News from Ekaterinberg reaches me that cnuty German label Hugo Boss made what they considered a generous VE day offer to Russian veterans of a 10% discount on their suits. One veteran described the move as deranged, a fair reaction since it would need a 90% reduction to bring a Boss suit within reach of Ekaterinburg pensioners.
Gay boy goes to prom with straight male friend. Straight male friend wears dress (and reckons he looks like Marilyn Monroe). School has hissy fit.
Darren supports Everton and they were beaten by Arsenal last night, 7-0, so he had a pretty shitty day yesterday. However, it's sunny today and we're off to Blackpool tonight for a weekend of sea air and northern food so things can only get better.
As someone who always likes a tidy room I found this compelling. Like watching a car smash - hypnotizing. Apparently she's addicted to ebay.
News from Ekaterinberg reaches me that cnuty German label Hugo Boss made what they considered a generous VE day offer to Russian veterans of a 10% discount on their suits. One veteran described the move as deranged, a fair reaction since it would need a 90% reduction to bring a Boss suit within reach of Ekaterinburg pensioners.
Gay boy goes to prom with straight male friend. Straight male friend wears dress (and reckons he looks like Marilyn Monroe). School has hissy fit.
Wednesday, May 11
Fingers Down The Throat Of Love
I’m so old. Old enough to have seen The Birthday Party three times before they fell apart and Nick went all blues. First time was 17 June 1981 when I was 16. The Birthday Party and Bauhaus at Newcastle University (I think Subway Sect played too). You had to get signed in by a student in those days. 7” singles Release The Bats and The Friend Catcher had been out and were John Peel faves but they didn’t prepare us for the horror show that was The Birthday Party live. Nick towered over the front rows and stared the crowd down. Pint glasses were smashed and thrown on stage. Nick writhed around on the floor in the mess, Tracy Pew fucked his bass throughout and Roland smoked ciggies and grinned while deafening us with his screechy guitar. These were the days before security guys stood at the front to keep folk off the stage. NO ONE dared go near that stage when Nick was up there. Bauhaus headlined that night but they just couldn’t compete. I remember Pete Murphy trying to look scary holding a strobe light under his chin and strutting around in a pair of black tights like a goth drag queen. Poor man. Anyway, nearly 25 years later and I'm at my desk doing a rat-race job listening to Junkyard by The Birthday Party. Oh the irony. Where is my pleasure avalanche?
I’m so old. Old enough to have seen The Birthday Party three times before they fell apart and Nick went all blues. First time was 17 June 1981 when I was 16. The Birthday Party and Bauhaus at Newcastle University (I think Subway Sect played too). You had to get signed in by a student in those days. 7” singles Release The Bats and The Friend Catcher had been out and were John Peel faves but they didn’t prepare us for the horror show that was The Birthday Party live. Nick towered over the front rows and stared the crowd down. Pint glasses were smashed and thrown on stage. Nick writhed around on the floor in the mess, Tracy Pew fucked his bass throughout and Roland smoked ciggies and grinned while deafening us with his screechy guitar. These were the days before security guys stood at the front to keep folk off the stage. NO ONE dared go near that stage when Nick was up there. Bauhaus headlined that night but they just couldn’t compete. I remember Pete Murphy trying to look scary holding a strobe light under his chin and strutting around in a pair of black tights like a goth drag queen. Poor man. Anyway, nearly 25 years later and I'm at my desk doing a rat-race job listening to Junkyard by The Birthday Party. Oh the irony. Where is my pleasure avalanche?
Tuesday, May 10
Lucky bitch!
Though I may have gone for Tim or Toby if I were Renee.
-----------------------------------------
Went to see The Interpreter at the weekend. Remind me not to visit Matobo when I tour Africa. Great thriller, reminiscent of Hitchcock in its pacing and characters. Recommended. Bought the box set of Freaks and Geeks and watched the first disc last night. They only made one series of this show but there are rumours that it may return due to the overwhelming response to the DVD release (just like with The Family Guy). If it does come back to TV it will be with a whole new cast so maybe it shouldn’t as the original team are just perfect. Napoleon Dynamite owes a lot to this show. Really enjoying the Brendan Benson album at the moment. It sounds great in a double-bill with the last Graham Coxon CD. Bought a bunch of mo mags at the weekend and discovered that Vegas is getting a big push as a gay destination. Bellagio and Paris are now offering same-sex partnership ceremonies. Take note you. And don’t forget, Kath and Kim starts this Thursday on BBC2.
Though I may have gone for Tim or Toby if I were Renee.
-----------------------------------------
Went to see The Interpreter at the weekend. Remind me not to visit Matobo when I tour Africa. Great thriller, reminiscent of Hitchcock in its pacing and characters. Recommended. Bought the box set of Freaks and Geeks and watched the first disc last night. They only made one series of this show but there are rumours that it may return due to the overwhelming response to the DVD release (just like with The Family Guy). If it does come back to TV it will be with a whole new cast so maybe it shouldn’t as the original team are just perfect. Napoleon Dynamite owes a lot to this show. Really enjoying the Brendan Benson album at the moment. It sounds great in a double-bill with the last Graham Coxon CD. Bought a bunch of mo mags at the weekend and discovered that Vegas is getting a big push as a gay destination. Bellagio and Paris are now offering same-sex partnership ceremonies. Take note you. And don’t forget, Kath and Kim starts this Thursday on BBC2.
Monday, May 9
55 minutes door to door this morning on my bicycle. In lovely sunshine too (though I still need my wooly gloves in the early morning). Most mornings I say hello to the swans on the river Lea near Springfield Marina as I whizz past. Today, immediately after my greeting, three of them skittered to their feet and ran full pelt on the water alongside me until they took off and soared above. Their wings made a great whooshing sound as they slowly flapped and rose into the air and I shouted "see you tomorrow" as they banked to the left and headed for the reservoirs. It was just like a movie moment and I had a bit of a lump in my throat at the perfectness of it all.
Thursday, May 5
Love that Todd Solondz. After the ugliness of his Happiness and Storytelling films comes his latest (tomorrow), Palindromes. Get this - the heroine is a 12 year old girl who wants to have a baby. She gets pregnant but is forced to abort it by her Mum (Ellen Barkin). She then gets friendly with a woman called Mama Sunshine who teaches her commune of disadvantaged kids to rap Christian songs. At the weekend the men of the commune murder abortion doctors. The end.
Todd - "It's easy to love mankind when mankind's all beautiful, but can you embrace mankind when you accept the full range of who we are? That's the real challenge".
Todd - "It's easy to love mankind when mankind's all beautiful, but can you embrace mankind when you accept the full range of who we are? That's the real challenge".
Next Friday is Friday the 13th. Not that I'm superstitious or anything cos I'm not. I did brought in last weeks NME to work today so Kevin could read the Oasis interview. He's the Victor Meldrew of rock (Liam, not Kevin). Friend Stephen has just bought a Dutch miniature house rabbit. It lives in a cage during the day but watches TV from the sofa in the evenings. It doesn't eat carrots. Must remember to vote tonight. I'll order a large chicken shish on the way up there. Gloves in May! What happened? David Sedaris is very funny. Kevin (no relation) at Breastfed has given me his address. Might send him something. Dunno though. Really fancy some chocolate but mustn't. Wanna lose some beef before the next bank holiday. Then some more before NYC. Wonder if Y Records ever released a 'best of' collection? Ze did. No more coffee today.
Tuesday, May 3
Along the coast a few miles from Blackpool is Lytham. Lytham is dead posh, with lovely seaside cottages and a wide grassy prom facing the Southport straits. There are lovely knick knack shops, middle class wooden-toy shops, coffee shops and fancy restaurants. We ate at a swish chippy where Gordon Ramsey held his birthday party last year. A lottery win would be nice next week so we could buy that converted barn we saw on the outskirts of the town. The weather this past weekend was lovely and I’ve got a rosy glow following a long walk up the Golden Mile yesterday. The sunny conditions had brought out the shorts and hairy legs so we spent a pleasant afternoon trolling round the Pleasure Beach marking fellas out of ten. We’d both had big breakfast barms an hour before so we didn’t ride anything. We watched a spin ‘n’ spew ride on the South Pier and witnessed a mobile phone soar from someone’s pocket and sail straight into the sea. We had a Daniel Craig double bill and watched Enduring Love and Layer Cake. Layer Cake was far superior. Also saw Freaky Friday which was Lohan-tastic. It’s getting harder and harder to leave after our weekends by the sea. I think Dr Johnson was wrong.
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