CUSTOMER: Worcester sauce crisps please.
SHOPKEEPER: Sorry can't, it's off the shelves, cancer scare.
CUSTOMER: Oh right, Chinese Chicken Wings?
SHOPKEEPER: Ah that's the same, cancer scare.
CUSTOMER: Hamburger Relish?
SHOPKEEPER: Cancer scare.
CUSTOMER: Sausage and Mash?
SHOPKEEPER: Cancer scare.
CUSTOMER: Cottage Pie?
SHOPKEEPER: Yes ... no wait, cancer scare.
CUSTOMER: So they're all off the shelves because of a Cancer scare?
SHOPKEEPER: Yes.
CUSTOMER (sighs): Just give me a packet of fags then.
SHOPKEEPER: Certainly. £4.80 please.
CUSTOMER: Thanks.