A woman in Wichita, Kansas collapsed during the religious blockbuster 'The Passion Of Christ' (during the bloody crucifixion scene). She later died in hospital.

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Hello Daves readers. Edward (Jack Russell, 3 years, long haired and a bit smelly) here. Dave has a roaring toothache and has gone back to bed so I thought I would test out this extra large keyboard I picked up at PetsMart last week. Seems to be OK so here goes:
They took me round the park three times this morning. That bloody lurcher cross breed was there again. His mum is Irish and, according to Daddy Darren, she talks bollocks. I can never catch him, he runs very fast and no matter how much I bark at him he won't stop. I'll get to sniff his arse one day. My friend Midas wasn't out this morning. Her Mummy is a lezzie and works for MTV. She looks like a Daddy not a Mummy. Sandy wasn't out either. Her Daddy has an electric cart thing because he can't walk very well. The sun was shining this morning which was nice and the ground was soft. I nearly took a pee on a pile of jumpers but Daddy Dave shouted at me before I could cock my leg. I'd already had a poop in my garden at home but I was able to squeeze another out in that 'special' corner of the park set aside for us poopers. The Yorkshire terrier with the long legs came into the park as we left but her Mummy keeps her on a long leash. She's foxy (but as I've no balls I don't really care). I'll probably be taken back to the park before dark today but I'm going out into the garden now to see if that pesky black cat from next door wants a fight. Her poo smells so much worse than mine.